Then please give me 5 minutes of your time.

Chronic pain affects men and women differently. Over 100 million people suffer from chronic pain here in America. Women, about 35% of them, will report chronic pain to their doctor, while men only about 25%. Why is this?

Men often feel they will appear less manly or even weak. This tends to make a man grin and bear it and hide it from doctors, co-workers, family, and friends. Raise your hand if you can relate to this.

This chronic pain can give you a lack of feeling manly and can all add up to depression, being impatient, loss of work, lack of enthusiasm for work, sex, family time, exercise, and much more.

Our society tells men they have to be strong, play sports, be a weightlifter, muscular, industrious, successful in business, be accepted by other guys or be treated as an equal in social functions. This can be really hard for a guy to live up to those expectations. But then you add in being a Big Boned and Broken man with chronic pain and it can leave you feeling inadequate and honestly it is absolutely impossible to live up to this.

All of this chronic pain, depression, anxiety, stress, lack of exercise & sleep can lead to further health problems. Which leads us to the Doctor’s office. Men are less likely to open up and give details to their doctors. But on the other side of the coin, most general practitioners truly don’t know or maybe weren’t taught how to handle chronic pain and even more so, how to handle the difference between male and female chronic pain. Add to that being big-boned and the answer from the doctor is usually “Lose some weight and all this pain will just magically go away!”

Our country needs to break down this stigma of men needing to “grin and bear it” and realize you feel pain just as much as a woman does and should be allowed to show it. But until this changes, what can you do to help yourself?

First and foremost get help. We have to deal with what’s going on in our heads before anything else. I know how chronic pain can change your personality. If you are feeling depressed or acting out to family, friends, and coworkers, feeling overwhelmed, etc., then consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, pastor, or counselor. You are NOT any less of a man because you admit you need help, cry, or have pain or because you are big-boned and broken.

Consider journaling if talking is just NOT going to happen or maybe you just don’t have a person to talk to or the funds for a counselor or don’t have a pastor. Sometimes jotting down your feelings can make a huge change in your attitude and your perspective on things. I will leave a link in the description to a couple of journals that you might like to use.

Research a few articles on holistic pain management skills. A few ideas would be yoga, meditation, acupuncture, breathing exercises, light physical activity, and even massage. There are so many ways to handle pain holistically and these I have mentioned are just a few. Find one that sounds good to you and give it a try for a couple of months. Remember holistic medicine does not change things overnight so give it a little time.

Don’t forget about the traditional way to handle pain through your pain management doctor, physical therapy, and of course medications if the pain is over the top. And please be open to your doctor so he can direct you in the path that will work best for you and your chronic pain. 

Look all those things I mention at the beginning of what the world says a man should be can be a part of what a man can be but it does not make you a man if you do all those things or any less of a man if you cannot achieve any other those things. So what makes a man?

I believe a true man is one who is loving to his wife and children, family, friends, and coworkers. One who keeps his promises shows kindness not just to people he knows but to strangers, knows when to say I am sorry when he makes a mistake, and the most important is a man of upstanding character.

Sometimes all we need to do is change our attitude about our life, our situation, or about other people to make us feel better. You know they say happiness is euphoric. So first and foremost work on an attitude of gratitude.

I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken.

Please if you have enjoyed this video, hit the subscribe and notification button.

Until next time, stay healthy, happy & wise!