But the thing is, the more I smiled, buckle down and actually did what I always do for the holiday season, I was feeling better. Sure it was a fleeting feeling and it may have only lasted for the day or maybe a few hours, but I was happier.

I had to start preparing (with tons of help from my husband and kids) for people to come over for the holiday parties that were part of our normal life. It was no fun. When we had our annual Halloween party it was the most I had smiled since all my hardships over the past few months had started. When Thanksgiving came and we had family over, I was in horrific pain. But once everyone arrived, I felt like myself at least for a few hours. And than Christmas came. First, having my mother-in-law spend the night and watch the kids come down the stairs to get their gifts felt like it always had. I watched my kids open their presents with delight on their faces. Even though Santa Claus had been outgrown by our children, just seeing their excited faces made the pain rush away for a few hours.

Then there was the annual New Year’s party. I didn’t really want to have it because I knew it meant I was welcoming in the new year without my mother, without my father, and now without my life. But my husband insisted. Once again, the pain was extremely difficult for me. My family helped, of course, but the pain physically and emotionally was hard! But guess what? At least for one day, I felt like I was on top of the world!

So what’s my point? My point is, even though things are bad, hiding out in another room waiting for people to visit you or sitting in your bed with the covers pulled up over your head is no way to live. I know hardships! I know adversity! I know pain mentally and physically! I know it’s difficult! But it is time to be the wife you agreed to be. Be the mom you know you should be. Be the friend you want to be! Take the sheets off from over your head, come out from the other room and be part of the party. I promise you will feel better! Even if only for one moment, you will feel like yourself.

We were not created to hide away even during our hardships. We are meant to be with family and friends. I know you are hurting, but if you just come out for a minute maybe, just maybe that minute will lead to minutes, then hours, then days, then months and you will start to feel more like the person you were created to be. Look at your hardships in the face and smile at them!

Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year! May your hours, days and months be filled with happiness. Catch you on the flip side!