So I have two subjects surrounding being disabled that really bug the heck out of me. Today I want to cover them. I will say this is a more serious subject matter and is a bit more about my particular engagement with it and how I have handled it.

Let me start by saying I was not born with a visible disability. I was born with a deformity of my left hip called hip dysplasia, which even though I did have some problems in my youth, did not fully present itself until about 2012. In 2015

 I got a hip replacement and directly after this, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle, torn ligaments in my ankle, pinched a nerve behind my knee, slipped 3 discs in my back which is currently pressing on my spinal nerve. 

I am not telling you this to get sympathy. Because of my subject matter, I want you to know I understand this topic first hand and I want you to know where I am coming from.

During my recovery, I cannot tell you how many people, sent me cards, emails, IM’s etc I got them from friends, family, and even strangers wishing me well. A  good handful of these beautiful and heartwarming notes that brightened my day also thought I was sick and recovering from an illness. From my explanation above, you can see I was not sick. Even my son would tell people I was sick. However, I will give him a break. He was a young teen at the time. 

Have any of you ever been through this?

I did some research about this subject matter and believe I may have found the reason why people with disabilities or recovery from an injury are linked to being ill.

I think this comes from the association between people who have had accidents and end up in a wheelchair or walker or whatever, usually spend time in the hospital at some point or time. And we associate hospital stays with what? Being sick. 

However, a wheelchair, crutches, walker, scooter or even monthly Dr visits to pain management do not equal illness. I know, because I have been in all of that plus! 

This stereotype really is not fair to those of us who have or are going through this tough time, but we also have to look at it from the other side. It is the way we have all been conditioned. Yes, even you.

So how I did handle it? Most of the time I would just let it go. However, on social media, I felt the need to set people straight. And I think this comes from me being Big Boned. I did not want people to think I was sick because of my size. I know silly, but there I am all exposing my inner thoughts to you all.  I would very gently correct them. I would post something like that. 

‘Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments. Thank God I have been very healthy through this ordeal which is making my injury recovery go very well. Your comments are giving me smiles through this extremely rough time. Thank you!”

This allowed me to straighten out the fact that  I was not sick while making sure people,e who out of the kindness of their heart spoke incorrectly, did not feel berated or scolded. After all, they were all so kind and they really did brighten my very extreme dark days.

The second subject that bothers me is what people believe is disabled or handicapped and what it truly is. 

So let’s look at the definition of disabled and handicapped.

A disability is the result of a medically definable condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.

A handicap is a barrier or circumstance that makes progress difficult, such as not being able to climb a flight of stairs.

So I am going to go back to my condition for a moment. From my explanation above I was 100% handicapped.

I was unable to walk properly without some form of aid, I could not descend or climb stairs, nor could I get up from a chair without the help of a person or sturdy table. I went from using a wheelchair to a scooter to crutches to a walker to a cane for a long period of time. I was, by all definitions and by Drs, considered handicapped. 

At the end part of 2017, I decided to do some procedures on my back which allowed me to walk better and handle stairs a bit better. It was a blessing but I still had a barrier or circumstance that made progress difficult.

In 2019 I took up hiking on trails to help with leg strength and to help with my slow decline of stamina. It was slow going at first. This eventually helped with walking better and mostly eliminated the use of a mobility scooter. It also helped me to descend and climb stairs more easily. Now does this mean I am not disabled anymore? Absolutely not.

I have more days than not of extreme pain in my back, leg weakness, and overall body stiffness and struggling. On days I feel fantastic I do not use my handicapped placard. I figure I feel good enough to let someone who needs it have it! But on days I feel like I got hit by a bus, I use it. These are the days I get looks, comments, and even notes on my car. Yes, you heard me right. Notes!

Because I very rarely use mobility aids I get the comments of how could you use someone else’s plaques like that. How could you park in the handicapped? You are not handicapped. I have never done it, but I would like to show them all my surgery scars. 

There is a miss understanding from the nondisabled/handicapped people out there that if you are not in a wheelchair or using some sort of mobility device you are NOT handicapped or disabled. Well, I am here to tell you this is NOT true.

I need to use a handicapped spot because of my back. 

My left leg is not strong enough to handle the push-off by itself that most people can do when they get out of their car. I need 2 legs on most days to get out of my car. Therefore I need to open my door all the way and need the extra room a handicapped spot provides for me. 

On days when my back is really bad, after shopping for groceries for my family,  standing in line,  if I don’t use a scooter, the thought of walking 15 car spots is so agonizing it sometimes will leave me in tears in the parking lot.

Even though I hike a few miles a week, it is very different than going to Disneyland. First off I am not on concrete. And those of you who have back injuries, know exactly what I am talking about. 1 hour of walking on concrete is about equal to 2 or 3  hours of walking on the trails.

These are just 3 examples of why I still am considered disabled and use a handicapped placard.

One experience was actually hilarious. My husband was driving and pulled into a handicapped spot. As he got out of the car a lady actually yelled at him that he was not handicapped and he had no right to park there. Well, she ate crow as he proceeded to get the wheelchair out of the back of the car, help me into it and roll me past her. Do you think she apologized? Nope!

When people make these types of comments or I see people parking in the lines of handicapped spots or even when they park in a handicapped spot and they do not have a placard, it upsets me. 

We just saw this the other day, A person parked in the lines of a handicapped spot with no placard just to unload some large boxes. They were there for 20 minutes.

Now could the person be handicapped, sure? But there is a reason for the lines. It gives disabled people more room to either open their doors or get their wheelchair out. And let’s not forget the Drs and DMV hand out the red and blue placards or license plates for a reason… it’s the law. 

This whole experience saddens me. The disregard for those of us who need these spots is downright disrespectful. I know here where I live we can report the violator car to the store or to the police department, but I never have. I have not come up with a decent response to these comments I have gotten of ignorance or disrespect. If you have delt with this and have come up with a way to handle it let me know in the comments. 

Meanwhile, I will continue to just walk past the belligerent person, stares etc and ignore them knowing that they are misinformed!

I know this video was more of a rant than it was helpful information like most of my videos, but I know I am not the only one who goes through this and wanted those of you out there to know I understand and you are not alone. Plus for those who might happen across this video and are not handicapped, I am hoping you will learn something and pass along the information!

I’m Kristin nitz with Big Boned and Broken

Consider Checking out my Instagram & Facebook channels @BigBonedAndBroken and of course my YouTube

Until next time Stay healthy, stay happy and stay wise.