We all get the feeling of being depressed from time to time. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are clinically depressed.
Those of us with BBAB bodies can get these feelings of being down, sad, depressed etc a lot. Especially since we are in pain everyday-all day. Pain can really bring you down. And if you have the added bonus of being over 50 and a BBAB body, then you know all too well the added stresses of aging can add to this down in the dump feeling.
I am not a psychologist. I certainly do not have the magic answer to why this happens or how to completely make it go away. But I do know what has worked for me over the years and I figure it might just work for you. Take what you want and leave the rest. And if you have a way of making the sad feeling go away that I did not mention, let me know. I am always willing to learn something new and try it for myself!
Let’s first hit on the difference between sadness and depression.
Sadness every single human being in the entire world gets. It can be environmental, situational, or just even mental. But it is short-term and will go away within a few hours or sometimes days, depending on the reasons. While depression is a very long-term illness and is not to be dealt with lightly. It can compromise our jobs, school, relationships, and even our day-to-day function. So let me make sure you understand we are not talking about clinical depression here today but an overall state of sadness that most of us would call depression.
I have 10 things that I do when I get down. Sometimes I will go for it and do them all, while other times 1 or 2 will do just fine to bring me out of my mood.
#1: Put away social media for the day. We all know and have read how social media plays on our brains to want more, feelings of inadequacy, it causes our memory to be poor, and can actually lead to feelings of depression or sadness. So put the phone and computer away for the day or even a few hours if you are one to spend a ton of time on social media. If you can, do it for a small extended period of time like 3 or 4 days.
#2: Get some sun. We should be getting 15 or more minutes of direct sun every day. But most of us are cooped up sitting all day behind a computer. If you’re feeling down go hug a tree, smell some flowers, watch the bees buzz for 15 minutes and see if that sun on your face, back and the head doesn’t make you feel like singing “The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Music”.
#3: Smile. Everyone you see, including your own reflection, smile at them all. Yes, even if they do not smile back. You see when you smile your brain lets off neuropeptides, dopamine, serotonin, and endorphins. These are things that help with stress, sadness, and even pain. So go smile in the mirror.
#4 & #5: Meditate for 5 minutes while breathing deeply. This step is really two things. You can do them separately, but I have found when I combine them I get the most benefit. One day I will go into more information about meditation but for now, I just want to say that this is not some praying to the universe or sitting on a pillow for 4 hours chanting. If you are into any of those things, then that is great for you, but for those of you who are not, this is just about laying down, relaxing, and focusing on the feeling of breathing. Sounds funny, but it works. And yes, your mind will wander, but come back to how the deep breathing feels in your nose, or in your chest, or the rise and fall of your belly. You can, if you want, repeat a word like calm or relaxed while doing this. Sometimes if my brain is really active I will do that, but most of the time I just focus on the rise and fall of my belly and the space in between the in-breath and out-breath. Do this for about 5 to 10
minute and you will feel refreshed and happier. And if you cannot lay down, sit comfortably, and if you can lean your head on a wall so you are relaxed. But if you feel like you are going to fall asleep crack open your eyes just a tiny bit to let some light in.
#7: Do 3 things you love to do today. Maybe that means spending some time with a favorite person. I know that a lot of the time it is people who make us disappointed which in turn makes us sad and feel underappreciated or not loved. But everyone has that one person that makes them feel good. Or maybe you like to draw, sing, color a coloring book, take a drive, play with makeup, or bake cookies. Whatever it is, do 3 things you love!
#8: Learn something new. Now, this does not mean you have to go to school. It could mean you read an article, read a good how-to book, listen to a podcast or grab a magazine and learn how to cook a new meal tonight. When we stop learning new things our brain goes into a feeling of uselessness. When we learn new things we have the feeling of wanting to share our newfound knowledge which in turn perks us up.
#9: Be spontaneous. How about helping a stranger. Buy a homeless person a taco, tell the guy at the drive-thru window you will pay for the car behind you if you see someone struggling getting something off a shelf get it for them. Try a new restaurant for lunch. Or maybe you grab a co-worker’s hand and dance in the middle of the office for 2 minutes. Anything that is fun, exciting, or helpful that is out of the ordinary for you. Watch how you smile the rest of the day!
#10: Exercise. Uugghh! Yes, I went there! I know this sucks, but you know I am right. Exercise fills those endorphin needs as we talked about earlier with smiling. It does not have to be hardcore, but maybe go in your yard and throw the ball and chase your dog for 10 minutes, walk around your block. Do you want something easier? Park at the farthest parking stall in a parking lot, take the stairs at work, etc. I know what you’re saying “But I cannot walk that far”. OK, then walk in the place, swing your arms while sitting in your chairs, stand up and just swish those hips, dance, etc. Anything to get your body moving will help. 5 minutes to 10 minutes or whatever time you have.
I ended with exercise because this is my #1 way I feel happiest. My daily hiking and yoga takes me to a different world away from everything that bothers me and makes me the happiest I can be. If I start my day with this I know for sure I will, at least, start my day happy. As my environment and body break down, yes the stresses of the day get me down, but that is when I pull out the other 9 things to try to make me feel happier.
I hope this helps you a little bit. And please don’t get me wrong, there are days I will wallow in my sadness, but almost every day I try to pick myself up and make myself happy. Let me know what you think and if there are some other things you have tried that work for you. Go forth and be happy! 🙂