Living with chronic pain is tough. I have been doing it since 2015. It’s not just the physical discomfort; it affects our emotions and moods too. As someone who understands this firsthand, I want to share my thoughts on how chronic pain can change our moods. It’s a conversation that needs more attention, so let’s dive in together.
The Weight of Suffering
You know that feeling when the pain becomes a constant companion? It’s like carrying a heavy burden on our shoulders all the time. It doesn’t just affect our bodies; it seeps into our emotions, making it harder to find happiness and joy. The weight of suffering can cast a shadow over our lives and make it tough to see the brighter side of things.
Battling the Shadows
Chronic pain brings out a whole range of emotions I never expected. Anger, frustration, and resentment become frequent visitors as we struggle with the unfairness of it all. We start questioning why our bodies have turned against us and why our lives have taken this unexpected turn, what we might have done wrong to deserve this pain, and so on. It can feel lonely like no one truly understands what we’re going through.
The Waltz of Depression
Depression often sneaks in when chronic pain is around. The unrelenting nature of the pain chips away at our resilience and leaves us vulnerable to exceptional sadness. We might feel hopeless, and sad, as well as lose interest in the things we used to enjoy. It becomes a tricky dance, trying to find our way forward while darkness looms.
Anxiety’s Grip On Us
Living with chronic pain means living with uncertainty. And that uncertainty can trigger anxiety, wrapping us up in worry and fear. We become anxious about when the next wave of pain will hit or how we’ll cope with it. Due to the pain, we experience, we constantly worry about the places we’re headed, fearing that we might become the party pooper and have the urge to leave or go home. It’s like having a constant companion, making it harder to fully engage in life.
Our Relationships Can be Under Strain
Chronic pain doesn’t just affect us; it affects our relationships with out family and friends as well. Our mood swings, irritability, and inability to participate in activities can strain our connections with loved ones. We crave understanding and support, but sometimes it feels like we’re on our own, feeling disconnected from those we care about.
Living with chronic pain is a daily battle that goes beyond physical discomfort. It affects our moods and emotions, shaping our lives in ways I know I we never expected. It’s important to acknowledge and address the emotional toll that chronic pain takes on us. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to recognize the emotional challenges that come with chronic pain.
If you’re going through chronic pain, know that you’re not alone. Seek support from medical professionals, therapists, and support groups. Let’s have conversations about chronic pain and raise awareness so that nobody has to suffer in silence. Together, we can work towards a world where empathy, understanding, and effective treatments are available for those living with chronic pain.
Do you even go to the doctor and forget what you wanted to talk about?
Do you even have unexpected pain but a month or two later forgot about it at your next Dr appointment?
Yup, me too! Well, that is, until I figured out about keeping a pain journal. So grab a pencil and paper so you can take notes
Those of us who live with chronic pain and who are willing to keep a pain log, journal, or diary can truly provide invaluable assistance to our Pain Management doctors and our GP doctors. These journals can help your doctor to diagnose the actual source of the pain. This will then help your doctor to put together therapy, medication, or remedy to help you manage your pain. It really does not matter if you have been dealing with chronic pain for many years or you are brand new to pain. The pain log is where you will write down everything about your pain.
Let’s look at some of the benefits of keeping a pain log are…
It can help you to remember what, when, and where the pain has been since your last doctor’s appointment
It can uncover any changes in your current condition
It can help you to recognized certain triggers or flare ups that make the pain worst
Such as food
Weather
Physical activity
It can point out some emotional problems that may have occurred or are becoming a problem because of the pain
It will shed a ton of light on side effects from medication and then help the doctor make any adjustment that may need to be made
A huge benefit is it can illuminate any patterns in your pain. This is important because we can see time of day, food allergies, stressors etc that can be causing you pain or making it get out of control
And for those of us who are not great communicators, it gives us a way to communicate to our doctor and better answer their questions that they may ask.
And, overall, it helps us to have a sense of control over our own health and well being
So the question you should be asking now is what should I write down? Let me run down a list of 7 extremely simple MAIN things you should be journaling about. Here is where you will want to grab a pencil and paper to take notes.
Each days entry should have the date and times.
You should have a pain scale rating such as 1 thru 10 where 1 is no pain and 10 is “I feel like I am dying”
There should be a sleep rating scale as well. We all know sleep can greatly affect our pain level. So keep track of your sleep by having a 1-10 hours for this area
You should be recording your activity level for the day and a scale. Continue with the 1-10 where 1 is I did not even lift a finger and 10 benign I ran a marathon
You want to make sure you are making a notation of what area on your body in which you felt the pain
Make sure you are also jotting down the time of day there is acute pain with an area to describe the level of acute pain and maybe even a trigger, if you know it. Such as “It was walking and stepped on a rock”. Or “I had coffee and I know it is a trigger for my migraines” or “It was cold and wet out today”..
You want to have an area where you are describing the following..
How long the pain lasted
Did the pain interrupt the day
Describing the type of pain. You want to use descriptive words like acute, throbbing, pulsing, tingling, burning etc. And whether or not the pain moved around.
Also you want to note if you did anything or took anything which made the pain better
Of course you will want to write down your observation as to whether or not there were other symptoms that went along with it
And, of course describe your mood before and after the pain started
Remember the more precise you are the better. And I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Well, I am in pain in the same spot every day!” It’s OK. Log it. Because I bet you when you start paying attention to it more you might find there are several days you did not realize you had inflammation and it was slowing you down. Or the day you went to the mall you had more pain than normal but took a pain pill and felt better. So make sure to write it down even if you think it is the same every day!!
And don’t feel like you have to make a journal entry every single hour. Think about writing your pain level down maybe 2-4 times a day or so. Write upon waking up, at lunch, maybe hump hour-3 pm, and before bed. If that still seems a bit overwhelming, then consider writing just at the end of the day. The more you can log the better this will give you and your doctor a great insight into your pain throughout the day.
Remember the journal you use should work for you and your personality. You could log your information in a spiral notebook, a fancy leather journal, or a pain diary like the one I made here. I will put a link to it in the description box if you would like to pick one up for yourself or a loved one who is dealing with chronic pain. Also, consider sharing this video with them as well so they can understand the benefits of logging their pain.
I made this journal originally for myself and I take it along with me to my monthly pain management appointments. It has been a great asset to my visits for helping me to remember things that were going on but may have stopped by the time I went to my appointment. You know how that is. I always look over my journal entries before my appointment and flag the days that were out of the ordinary. This also has made me much more aware of my body, the foods that cause more pain and inflammation, and just an overall awareness of how my chronic pain ebbs and flows.
I did mention it was important to also start a food log. The reason for this is when you have an onset of pain or inflammation for a few days you can easily look back and see what you ate for that day which might have made it worst. Maybe you had soda every day which is out of the ordinary for you. You ate cheese every day, or too much alcohol, or whatever.
Harvard Health Medical and Dr. Fred Tabung who is a researcher with the Department of Nutrition at Harvard’s School of Public Healthsays the food you eat can determine how well your body fights inflammation. It’s been said that you are what you eat, and that’s definitely true when it comes to chronic pain. “A lot of chronic pain is the result of chronic inflammation, and the evidence is quite strong that your diet can contribute to increased systemic inflammation, But your diet is also one of the best ways to reduce it.”
When we first start dealing with our injuries, before the chronic pain sets in, our body protected itself with inflammation and that inflammation eventually goes away. However, when you are dealing with someone who has chronic issues, this inflammation can stay with us which can, over time, damage our healthy cells and organs and cause heart disease (which is what my mom passed away from) it can also cause diabetes and even some cancers. This is why keeping track of what food we are eating and our inflammation and our pain level can drastically help us in the long run. We can finally find out that the yummy thing we have been eating for years and years is now an inflammatory junk food for our body. Even if it is a healthy food.
Overall, logging your pain is one of the simplest acts you can take into helping yourself and even possibly healing your chronic pain. Of course, that’s depending on why you are experiencing this pain. Truly, It doesn’t have to cost any money or very little money and can take just a few minutes each day.
If you are like me, I am always trying to figure out how to feel better. How to make my chronic painless.
And how to communicate to my doctor to get the best results.
My pain and food diary has helped me so much over the years. It has helped me to know which foods cause inflammation as well as which activities to stay away from. I highly recommend, if you are dealing with chronic pain, to start logging your pain today.
Save this video so you can go back and write down what to log or consider sharing it with a family member who is dealing with pain.
And again I will share a link to my pain journal in the description so you don’t have to worry about what to log and can start logging right away and bring it to your next doctor’s appointment!
Until next time Stay Healthy, Stay Happy, and Stay Wise
Do you have chronic pain? Do you forgo exercise because of chronic pain?
According to Utah university, It is estimated that 20% of adults in the U.S. experience chronic pain. In fact, chronic pain is the most common reason adults seek medical treatment in the United States. And depending on the severity of the pain and location up to 70% of chronic pain sufferers limit their exercise because of pain.
Chronic pain is not easy to deal with on a day-to-day basis. However, for those of us who do live with it, the good news is we don’t have to forego a fitness routine. In reality, by keeping to a fitness routine, you are actually improving your health, mental health, and physicality, and your body will feel better too. As a matter of fact, did you know that exercise is used as a therapy by many doctors to treat chronic pain as well as depression and anxiety? I have to be honest with you. When I first started my fitness routine, it was hard. But after just a short time I started seeing the benefits. And more than anything, I really started seeing my depression and suicidal thought going away!
The one thing I want to make sure you understand is it is extremely important to check with your doctor before starting any exercise program. We want to make sure the exercise you choose is going to be okay with whatever injury, disability, or mobility issues you are currently dealing with.
If you have been dealing with chronic pain for a while or mobility issues it is possible your muscles could be weakened from not being used very much. So when you start a program it’s not going to be easy as it was before your issues. Actually, you might feel a bit more muscle pain because your body is not fit. But give it just a little bit of time and all a sudden you will start noticing more endurance and strength that you haven’t felt in a long time.
So let’s take a look at some of the basic benefits and then we will get into 7 easy exercises that are really good for those of us with chronic pain and mobility issues…
So what are some of the benefits?
According to Harvard Health, mental health improves. While we exercise endorphins are released and go into our bloodstream. These endorphins are the body’s natural painkiller. Did you know that these endorphins are the same ones that are released during playing music, laughing, ultraviolet light, and yes, sex? Harvard says, “endorphins are just one of the four feel-good hormones, and the best way to describe it is a runner’s high.”
SpineUniverse says some of the benefits of exercising, even when you have chronic pain are…
Exercise keeps your joints moving well. That’s especially important for patients with chronic pain caused by arthritis. And I have said it before in many videos, “Motion is Lotion”
It helps to keep your muscles strong which supports your bones better.
And exercising on a regular basis keeps muscles strong which actually helps you with your daily basic needs and regular life duties such as taking a shower, cooking, cleaning, and even some basic hygiene issues that those of us with chronic back pain deal with.
It helps you maintain a healthy weight, lose weight and avoid obesity. Well, I can say it has not helped me to loose weight, but I have maintained my same weight for over 10 years now with a fluctuation of nothing more than about 5 pounds,
So let’s take a look at 7 exercises that are good for people with chronic pain and mobility issues. Of course, every BODY is different and you have to take into consideration your area of pain. So some may work better than others for you. It will be a matter of trial and error. And remember to always talk it over with your pain management doctor.
Muscle strengthening. Now according to dr. Glass who happens to be the Olympic team sports doctor says two things anyone with chronic pain can do is core strengthening and flexibility. Getting a stronger core, glutes, and back can help reduce back pain. If you have joints that are painful due to injuries or arthritis then getting stronger muscles around those joints can help ease pain a lot. Having strong muscles, doing strength training, can make you more mobile and will support those joints that have weakend.
Flexibility training through things like stretching and yoga can also help bring your chronic pain at bay by improving your movement, posture, and muscle pain. It can also help lower cortisol levels in women with fibromyalgia. If you’re exercising, stretching should be done before and after all exercises and should never hurt. You can work on stretching your neck, shoulders, hands, upper and lower back, hips, glutes, ankles and feet. A whole body approach is how you should think of stretching. Things like yoga can be excellent for someone with chronic pain, but remember to go over all the moves with your pain management doctor first. Some yoga poses can put more stress on your joints and can be harmful. For me, Yoga was my first choice after my accident and operation and I still practice three to four times a week. However, I do basic stretching every day, 7 days a week for about 10-15 mins.
Swimming is a great low impact exercise. There’s no pressure on any of your joints., Yet it gives you that full body strength training that weight lifitng can give you and it includes the flexibility and stretching of yoga. If you are lucky enough to have access to a pool, regular swimming can be a great source for increasing your endorphins. Try attending a water aerobics class, regular swimming, or even just running in place in the pool. Later you can add weights to your legs and arms and even riding a bike under water.
Of course my favorite is walking and Hiking. This exercise can be awesome for building stamina and strengthening your glutes, thighs, calves, ankles. And if you use walking sticks, it can even strengthen your hands, arms, and shoulders. Once you have started with shorter distance walks and build up your endurance and strength, then you should consider trying hiking. But remember to always get the right shoes and gear and take a partner with you if you’re dealing with mobility issues or disability. Walking has greatly helped me with my severely impacted balance as well. After my operation and accident I really had a problem with falling over as I was walking. Once I started my walking program it eventually decreased so much that I barely even notice it today.
Tai Chi is another exercise that combines breath control, meditation, stretching, and strength training all-in-one. Tai Chi has also been linked to lowering blood pressure and improving heart health. And we all know that those who deal with chronic pain, mobility issues, and disabilities are more likely to have high blood pressure and heart problems due to the either lack of exercise, stress, and anxiety from constant pain. This is one exercise I have not tried yet but since doing the research for this video I’m actually going to buy a DVD and give it a try. Hey, if I like it, I might do a video on it.
Biking is another low impact exercise that can warm up all your joints, and strengthen your lower body which can help with knee pain, hip pain, and even lower back pain. However you need to make sure that you get a bike that is extremely comfortable for your back. That Means the seat is in the correct height and position as well as the handle bars need to be high enough so you are not hunching over. So take your bike to a bike shop and have them adjust the handlebars and the seats to make it more comfortable for you. And if you’re not into biking on the street or maybe you don’t have good balance, or you own a bike, consider getting a stationary bike. Hey, you can watch your favorite show and exercise at the same time.
Lastly consider meditating on a daily basis. Now I know this does not sound like a muscle building exercise, but Learning to relax especially if you are dealing with chronic pain can be a harder exercise than any that I have described. But according to a study by PudMedical central, people who practice mindfulness were able to reduce pain by up to 22%. This may be because it reduces anxiety and depression. Listen, those of us who deal with chronic pain we need to learn to relax. And we all know it’s hard when it’s constantly nagging at your back, your ankle, your neck, your head, or your hands. So learning to relax through daily meditation can really help to reduce that stress which can help bring that blood pressure down as well. There are many free apps to help get you started. Start with just 5 mins and try to build your way to 30 mins a day. This has been an extreme game changer for me. When I miss several days in a row, I notice the change in my self talk, mood and blood pressure. This one can be done, no matter your disability or even how much chornic pain you have. And don;t worry if you fall asleep during it. Congrats, it means you got relaxed!
You have heard me before tell you how exercise has saved my life. I honestly don’t know where I would be or how I would be if I never got off my butt and started back to exercising after my accident. It has helped me with my anxiety, my mood swings, my pain level, my mobility issues, my balance issues, and even my blood pressure has gone down. I feel better not only mentally and physically but also better about myself.
I know having chronic pain, mobility issues, and a disability can be a pain in the gluteus maximus, but today is a great day to start with just 5 or 10 minutes of something. And as you get stronger go for 15, then 20, and so on. Work towards about 30 minutes a day four or five times a week. I’m telling you from one big-boned and broken chronic pain mobility issue person to another, It helps! It has made a huge difference in my life. Just ask my husband and kids! So go out and start moving today.
Until next time stay healthy, stay happy, and stay wise.
Strategies to Get Your Broken Body Outside and Moving Again
Are you disabled or have mobility issues? Do you wish you could get outside to exercise or hike again?
More than 1 in 4 adults in the US have a disability according to the CDC and Harvard. And due to some of these disabilities, it can cause you to stop exercising which can lead you to be 3x more likely to have heart disease, stroke, diabetes, etc.
Being outdoors can not only improve your physical health but also boost your emotional and spiritual well-being. It has been known to cure the blues, bring a smile on your face, relieve stress, snuff out of a bad day, relieve depression, and just a general feeling of well-being.
But sometimes for those of us who are disabled, have mobility issues, or have chronic pain, it can feel like it’s Out Of Reach. I can totally relate to these feelings. I am a Big Boned and Broken person with chronic pain and mobility issues too and have dealt with having to give up my love for hiking. However, being outdoors, walking and hiking can be for just about everyone. It will just look different depending on your body and your disabilities.
I have+ 15 easy strategies for those with all levels of disabilities, chronic pain, or mobility issues to help you get either Outdoors or out on those trails. Try 1 or try them all. So let’s get started.
Look for paved sidewalks or trails. Now I will say for those of us who have chronic back pain this can actually be a more painful experience having the hard concrete underneath our feet. But for those who are on crutches or a wheelchair, this is a perfect option.
If you are in a wheelchair look for either wheelchair or stroller access Trails. There are many sites that will give you detailed information about different trails in your area
Take it slow. Build up your endurance and strength by taking it as slow as you need. Don’t be a speed demon. Speed is not the goal, time outside and endurance should be the goal here.
For those of us who are walking, use hiking poles, even on pavement. This can take a lot of the weight off your back, hips, and legs and distribute it more evenly throughout your entire body.
Hike with a partner. This is really important when you’re first starting out. Think about it this way. If the pain gets too much to handle, you fall, or you just can’t go any further, your partner can go and grab the car while you sit and wait.
Start small. Start with ¼ of a mile or ½ a mile and build yourself up. This is a great way to start getting your arms and legs straightened and increase your endurance.
Don’t be a weekend warrior. Hike or walk a few times each week. It is much better to have three short ½-mile hikes than one big huge 3-mile hike. This will keep you from being laid up for a day or two because of excess pain.
Be careful of hike ratings on some of the apps. What a fully capable twenty-year-old deems as easy can be much more difficult for those of us who are Big Boned and Broken and have mobility issues, disabilities, and of course chronic pain. Read the reviews to get a better picture of what the trail really looks like.
Look at Google Maps either at the terrain or the satellite to get a better idea of what the trail inclines and terrain will be like
Consider getting an app like alltrails where it will give you ratings, pictures, explanations of what the trails are like Etc.
This next one goes along with #10. Be willing to write your own reviews on hiking apps to help other people to know how the terrain and trail are for disabled or handicapped individuals.
Get the right shoes for hiking. If you’re going to hike, whether it is on the trails, concrete, or in the hills, tennis shoes might not be the right fit for all those adventures. Your feet, back, legs, etc will be very unhappy. It is not only important to think of your injury, but your feet and the right shoes will make or break your new adventures outside.
Find a hiking group in your area that have similar interests and circumstances. This can not only make the hiking fun if you’re new to it but even if you’ve been doing it for a while. Shoot, you might make a new bestie!
If you’re not ready to get on the trails consider taking a nature challenge. This is where you go out each day for a week or even a month and you find different natural elements and draw them or take pictures of them and post them to the group. This can be done just walking down a neighbor or two, in your backyard, or even at a park while your watching your child play on the swings.
Lastly, I know there are some of you who are saying this is absolutely not possible for me yet. I am still in recovery, or this disability thing is still new to me. I get it. I was there for 3 years after my accident. So if hiking or walking is just not a possibility then at least sit outside once a day in the Sun for 10 or 15 minutes. If you are in an apartment, surround yourself with potted foliage, flowers, and even pictures inside your house of The Great Outdoors. Do you remember why? You got it. To boost your emotional and spiritual well-being
Hiking and walking were once taken away from me after my accident. But I started with walking just down and back 2 houses, then around my block, which is only 1/2 mile, and I did this several times a week. Then to my neighborhood’s, very flat, 1-mile dirt Trail. This is when I realized my body was getting stronger and I could do more.
So I gathered up the courage and went to my nearest Regional Park after researching all the trails and realized that one of the regional parks had a dirt trail that was flatish. So I walked this for a while. Then I moved up to going on steeper inclines and then moved to longer hikes and then moved to the hills. And now I hike some pretty good hills and go anywhere from 2 to 5 miles each hike. But it took time, research, trial and error, walking to a certain point and realizing I had to turn around because it was too much. And sometimes, unfortunately, it also caused more pain. Why? Because there were multiple times that I did more than I should have. I didn’t start off with the right gear. I did this by myself instead of with a partner. So when I got tired or felt I could not go on, I had no choice. This is why I decided to share these strategies with you. If I would have found something like this video when I was starting out, it might have saved me from aggravation at the beginning. So if you know anyone who needs to hear this information hit the share button now and send this video to them.
I believe hiking is for just about everyone no matter your fitness level, type of disability, or even your pain level. Whether you’re on crutches, in a wheelchair, or walking. You can get out there and walk and take a hike. It may take time to build up to it but you can do it and it may be 1 or 2 houses and back, around your block, with a helper or guide, or out on the trails in a park. It doesn’t matter. Just try something new today and be willing to do your research, get your right gear, and take it slow, and above all, talk to your doctor and make sure it is safe for you to do this. So today get out there and see some more green even if it’s just surrounding yourself with flowers and potted plants on your balcony. Start today with a little more outdoor and green time and see if it doesn’t start to uplift your mood.
Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise!
So I have two subjects surrounding being disabled that really bug the heck out of me. Today I want to cover them. I will say this is a more serious subject matter and is a bit more about my particular engagement with it and how I have handled it.
Let me start by saying I was not born with a visible disability. I was born with a deformity of my left hip called hip dysplasia, which even though I did have some problems in my youth, did not fully present itself until about 2012. In 2015
I got a hip replacement and directly after this, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle, torn ligaments in my ankle, pinched a nerve behind my knee, slipped 3 discs in my back which is currently pressing on my spinal nerve.
I am not telling you this to get sympathy. Because of my subject matter, I want you to know I understand this topic first hand and I want you to know where I am coming from.
During my recovery, I cannot tell you how many people, sent me cards, emails, IM’s etc I got them from friends, family, and even strangers wishing me well. A good handful of these beautiful and heartwarming notes that brightened my day also thought I was sick and recovering from an illness. From my explanation above, you can see I was not sick. Even my son would tell people I was sick. However, I will give him a break. He was a young teen at the time.
Have any of you ever been through this?
I did some research about this subject matter and believe I may have found the reason why people with disabilities or recovery from an injury are linked to being ill.
I think this comes from the association between people who have had accidents and end up in a wheelchair or walker or whatever, usually spend time in the hospital at some point or time. And we associate hospital stays with what? Being sick.
However, a wheelchair, crutches, walker, scooter or even monthly Dr visits to pain management do not equal illness. I know, because I have been in all of that plus!
This stereotype really is not fair to those of us who have or are going through this tough time, but we also have to look at it from the other side. It is the way we have all been conditioned. Yes, even you.
So how I did handle it? Most of the time I would just let it go. However, on social media, I felt the need to set people straight. And I think this comes from me being Big Boned. I did not want people to think I was sick because of my size. I know silly, but there I am all exposing my inner thoughts to you all. I would very gently correct them. I would post something like that.
‘Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments. Thank God I have been very healthy through this ordeal which is making my injury recovery go very well. Your comments are giving me smiles through this extremely rough time. Thank you!”
This allowed me to straighten out the fact that I was not sick while making sure people,e who out of the kindness of their heart spoke incorrectly, did not feel berated or scolded. After all, they were all so kind and they really did brighten my very extreme dark days.
The second subject that bothers me is what people believe is disabled or handicapped and what it truly is.
So let’s look at the definition of disabled and handicapped.
A disability is the result of a medically definable condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.
A handicap is a barrier or circumstance that makes progress difficult, such as not being able to climb a flight of stairs.
So I am going to go back to my condition for a moment. From my explanation above I was 100% handicapped.
I was unable to walk properly without some form of aid, I could not descend or climb stairs, nor could I get up from a chair without the help of a person or sturdy table. I went from using a wheelchair to a scooter to crutches to a walker to a cane for a long period of time. I was, by all definitions and by Drs, considered handicapped.
At the end part of 2017, I decided to do some procedures on my back which allowed me to walk better and handle stairs a bit better. It was a blessing but I still had a barrier or circumstance that made progress difficult.
In 2019 I took up hiking on trails to help with leg strength and to help with my slow decline of stamina. It was slow going at first. This eventually helped with walking better and mostly eliminated the use of a mobility scooter. It also helped me to descend and climb stairs more easily. Now does this mean I am not disabled anymore? Absolutely not.
I have more days than not of extreme pain in my back, leg weakness, and overall body stiffness and struggling. On days I feel fantastic I do not use my handicapped placard. I figure I feel good enough to let someone who needs it have it! But on days I feel like I got hit by a bus, I use it. These are the days I get looks, comments, and even notes on my car. Yes, you heard me right. Notes!
Because I very rarely use mobility aids I get the comments of how could you use someone else’s plaques like that. How could you park in the handicapped? You are not handicapped. I have never done it, but I would like to show them all my surgery scars.
There is a miss understanding from the nondisabled/handicapped people out there that if you are not in a wheelchair or using some sort of mobility device you are NOT handicapped or disabled. Well, I am here to tell you this is NOT true.
I need to use a handicapped spot because of my back.
My left leg is not strong enough to handle the push-off by itself that most people can do when they get out of their car. I need 2 legs on most days to get out of my car. Therefore I need to open my door all the way and need the extra room a handicapped spot provides for me.
On days when my back is really bad, after shopping for groceries for my family, standing in line, if I don’t use a scooter, the thought of walking 15 car spots is so agonizing it sometimes will leave me in tears in the parking lot.
Even though I hike a few miles a week, it is very different than going to Disneyland. First off I am not on concrete. And those of you who have back injuries, know exactly what I am talking about. 1 hour of walking on concrete is about equal to 2 or 3 hours of walking on the trails.
These are just 3 examples of why I still am considered disabled and use a handicapped placard.
One experience was actually hilarious. My husband was driving and pulled into a handicapped spot. As he got out of the car a lady actually yelled at him that he was not handicapped and he had no right to park there. Well, she ate crow as he proceeded to get the wheelchair out of the back of the car, help me into it and roll me past her. Do you think she apologized? Nope!
When people make these types of comments or I see people parking in the lines of handicapped spots or even when they park in a handicapped spot and they do not have a placard, it upsets me.
We just saw this the other day, A person parked in the lines of a handicapped spot with no placard just to unload some large boxes. They were there for 20 minutes.
Now could the person be handicapped, sure? But there is a reason for the lines. It gives disabled people more room to either open their doors or get their wheelchair out. And let’s not forget the Drs and DMV hand out the red and blue placards or license plates for a reason… it’s the law.
This whole experience saddens me. The disregard for those of us who need these spots is downright disrespectful. I know here where I live we can report the violator car to the store or to the police department, but I never have. I have not come up with a decent response to these comments I have gotten of ignorance or disrespect. If you have delt with this and have come up with a way to handle it let me know in the comments.
Meanwhile, I will continue to just walk past the belligerent person, stares etc and ignore them knowing that they are misinformed!
I know this video was more of a rant than it was helpful information like most of my videos, but I know I am not the only one who goes through this and wanted those of you out there to know I understand and you are not alone. Plus for those who might happen across this video and are not handicapped, I am hoping you will learn something and pass along the information!
I’m Kristin nitz with Big Boned and Broken
Consider Checking out my Instagram & Facebook channels @BigBonedAndBroken and of course my YouTube
Until next time Stay healthy, stay happy and stay wise.
Are you a people pleaser? There are so many people out there that are people pleasers and trust me when I say from my own experience as a people pleaser, it is exhausting!
Let’s look at some of the traits of being a people pleaser.
You have a hard time saying “No” to people ever your kids when they demand or request your time, your energy, and even things they want from you.
You tend to agree on everything. You have such a high fear of not being accepted you will agree on everything even if you really don’t.
You apologize for everything or worst yet will take the blame for things even if you did nothing wrong. Sometimes you do this to make the conflict stop other times it is just to please the other person.
Self-care is not in your vocabulary. You have a hard time taking time for yourself.
You crave validation from everyone, sometimes even strangers.
If you set boundaries, you have such guilt from it that you will end up giving in especially with your kids.
There is a feeling of always being anxious, especially when you are around people.
You have a high fear of rejection
You secretly resent people for constantly asking you for something.
You struggle with being genuine. You struggle to be honest with who you truly are to others.
You are a giver, but this is not the giving out of love and kindheartedness. The goal is acceptance. This is not genuine giving.
Fear of conflict. Even if the conflict has nothing to do with you, the fear of being around any conflict is high which sends you into either fixer mode or blaming yourself mode.
You probably are a perfectionist!
These are just a few traits of a People pleaser and yes, I can honestly say I use to have just about every single one of these traits. But I know from experience you can change it. You do not have to put this label on yourself and keep it there. Now I will say I am still working on myself with this one so It is a work in progress.
Let’s take a look at some of the effects of being a people pleaser.
But let me preference this by saying that wanting to help people out of care, concern, love, affection, and kindness is not a bad thing. This is a trait that more of us should have. This is not the type of helping we are talking about.
So when does it become a problem?
When you do it for acceptance, affection, or love of the other individual. We parents who are people pleasers have a hard time with this. Because as soon as our child gets angry, upset, or throws tantrums with us we are right there trying to fix it and make them love and accept us again.
It is also a problem when you just cannot say “No” and you end up feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. Which can all lead to people taking advantage of you. Then you start to feel burned out which leads to stress. And if you are someone with chronic pain or disabilities, this can lead to even more physical pain from the stress of doing too much or even from worrying. All this stress leads to higher blood pressure and elevated cortisol. Whew! That’s a lot!
So how does one change?
Well, it is not easy. Let’s just be honest here. It takes time, commitment, and a willingness to remove this label sitting on your forehead that you have had there for most of your life.
So let me walk through 8 things that you can start today to etch away at that label of People Pleaser.
When you are asked to do something and you are ready to say yes ask yourself a few questions.
Am I saying yes and doing it for the right reasons?
Will it overtax my mind, body, or time?
Is this action going to be within my boundaries I have set for myself?
Do I have the time for this after my needs are met?
How will it make me feel? Resentful or happy?
One of the other things that I have done is set self-care appointments in my calendar. I set Dr. appointments right? So I also set exercise, meditation, reading appointments and try to stick to them as best I can.
Remember you do not need to get an opinion from every person in your life. When you need a person’s opinion ask just 1 or 2 people close to you, not everyone.
Set boundaries. I mean actually write them down. Write down a list of the things you are currently doing and mark the ones that make you happy and the ones that don’t. Now a job might be in the don’t, so this need to be evaluated and maybe a change of jobs need to happen. Get the picture.
Learn to say “No” NOT “I’m sorry but I can’t becasue…” No should never need an explanation.
Try scheduling alone time. This is hard if your a parent soconsider hiring Dad or a babysitter for 1 hour a couple times a week for some quiet time with just you!
Be more honest with your feeling with your close friends and family. It is OK. Start out slow, because I know from experience this can be a hard one. Pick 1 person to start being honest with about who you really are and keep adding until it becomes second nature to be YOU!
Lastly, if you struggle with chronic pain, disabilities, chronic illness, etc., it is imperative to make yourself a priority. It is important to know just how much time you can give outside of your daily routine and activities and to not go over this. Our broken bodies need a bit more TLC and when we overdue ourselves, even if it is just “sitting” it can really do a number on us physically.
Remember it is OK to say “NO”. People will not hate you for it and those who are currently taking advantage of you will actually come to appreciate you even more. Setting boundaries, especially for us parents, seems hard, but once again, kids and people will come to appreciate the fact you are consistant. And If you do say “YES”, make sure it is coming from a loving, caring place and not a want for love or acceptance.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken
If you like this video and want to see other content like it hit the subscribe and notification button
Until next time, Stay Healthy, Stay Happy, and Stay Wise.
When you think about or talk about chronic pain, you may only think about the physical side of it. However, chronic pain can have a huge impact on a person’s life physically and mentally. It can change our sleep patterns and cause restlessness at night and even during the day. Given the lack of sleep and the constant thumping of pain somewhere in your body, this can lead to a disinterest in hobbies and social events. A feeling of anxiety. It can cause you to starve yourself, binge eats, feel isolated even when people are around you. It can lead to feelings of frustration and destructive self-talk. And worst yet, it can lead to or exacerbate depression.
One of the main things we have to beware of is the internal talk. Having destructive self-talk can make the situation worse and keep you from coping with your pain in a more constructive manner. When we are constantly flooding our brain with how much pain we are in and telling ourselves, “no one cares”, “I am a burden”,” I am useless”, “I can’t take this”, “It is all my fault”, or whatever your internal talk is, it can exacerbate the sadness, depression and even the pain. This was my self-talk for the first few years after my accident and the more I talked to myself like this the more depressed I got. And worse yet? These thought patterns turned into belief patterns which, I gotta tell you are hard to get rid of, but you can! And let me just note here that I still struggle with this every now and then. So this is an ongoing learning process for us all.
So then what? Our next step then is to hide our feelings. So my thought pattern was, for many years, “I don’t want to burden the people around me or bring them down. So I will say everything is just fine, smile, and if the pain gets too much, grin and bear it!” Does anyone identify with this?
We who deal with chronic pain know how it feels when we have to deal with the consequences of overdoing ourselves and dealing with the extra pain afterward. We know how it feels to want to go to a social function yet when we get there all we can think about is going home because we are so uncomfortable. This continual pain can lead to our brains not being able to focus. My daughter calls me out on this all the time. She will tell me something and 5 seconds later I will ask her what she said. It is not because I am not listening, but between the pain and any medications that someone with chronic pain takes it can fog up the brain and thought patterns. And then we make the situation worst by telling ourselves we are bad moms, wives, friends, and co-workers.
We can also have the thoughts that people don’t believe us. Even with having had an accident, being hospitalized, and casts you would think it would be enough for my brain to not think this. But there it was rearing its ugly head. Especially nowadays because I am so much more active than I was at the beginning. More self-sabotaging thoughts!
OK, so what am I to do? I’m down all the time and I can’t seem to talk to myself in a nice way! Well, I could tell you to just have positive thoughts. But we know that we cannot control our thoughts 100% of the time. Consider watching When Your Feeling Down-10 Easy Ways to Being Happy These 10 simple steps can bring you more cheer in your day when you’re just feeling a bit down. However, there are just extra steps above that video that can help.
First and foremost, allow yourself to feel these things for a moment. And if you feel ready, go talk to someone. Let me tell you this was the best decision I ever made. My hip replacement happened, then my accident, and then my mom died all within 3 months. Then I found out I had cancer in the following 2 months. Do you think I wasn’t down? I was ready to give it all up. I blamed myself for my accident, my mom having to go into a center while I was in rehab and even for my cancer. I am not sure what would have happened if I did not go to my church and seek counseling. It changed my perspective on everything. So this is why it is the first and foremost thing you should do. Especially if your thoughts are running into hurting yourself or suicide path like mine was.
The best coping mechanism that was taught to me was to ask just a couple of questions when my thoughts were going off the path. 1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel? 3. What would my husband, children, God, or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? And then journal those feelings. For me the 1st question well, sometimes, i would say to myself, yes of course it is true! But then I would ask the 2nd one and realize how harmful and hurtful I was being. But the last 2 questions? WOW, would I ever say these thoughts to any of the people? NO Would I be happy if any of those people said it to me? NO WAY! I would eventually realize it was my own self-sabotaging self-talk and not truth.
Look there is no 1 size fits all, to help with chronic pain or sadness and depression for those of us who suffer from it. But we can start with self-talk! And if you are watching and have a loved one who suffers from chronic pain, then be willing to sit and listen. They may not come out right away and talk about their true feelings. It may take a few months of consistently getting together every day or weekly, asking open-ended questions, and being willing to put aside what is going on in your life for just 20 or 30 minutes. Eventually, they will begin to realize you are trustworthy, loving, really do care, and truly are willing to listen!
You are taking care of yourself physically already with doctors, exercise, eating right, pain management, etc. So why not continue the process of taking care of yourself mentally. Starting today ask yourself those 4 questions…1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel? 3. What would my husband, children, God or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? Grab a journal and start putting your feelings down. And if you’re ready, go seek help from a professional. Don’t wait until it is out of control.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken
If you enjoyed this video, please consider hitting the subscribe and notification button for more content like this.
Just from the title, you may think to yourself “What do I have to be grateful for?” I don’t even know you or your situation but I can think of 10 things you can be grateful for right this moment and I bet you can too. Today we are going to talk about starting a gratitude journal. What is it? Why keep it? Where to get them? And how to do it?.
So what is a gratitude journal? It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a journal that you write in on a regular basis where you jot down the things you are grateful for each day. It is that simple. Keeping a gratitude journal can increase your overall feeling of happiness, reduce symptoms of depression, and increase a more euphoric overall well-being. Hey that is pretty cool for just a sentence or two a day, don’t you think?
As far as what journal to get? Well, that is not as important as doing it. There are some specific gratitude journals that give you a prompt. There are those that are just lined pages, some are dated, but overall it is more important to just start! You can go just about anywhere to get a lined journal these days, but I’ll link some in the description if you just have no idea where to start. Some of these were ones I liked over the years!
So this brings us to the how and the meat of this video. How, is pretty easy. Just write down something that day for which you are thankful. Oh, but I know that is easier said than done. So I have a few ideas for you to follow.
Don’t write the same thing every day. “I am thankful for our home”! That is a great one to write especially if you were not sure if you could pay the mortgage that month, but every day? No! Which leads me to
Be creative. What about the nice meal you had with your family that day. How about having a fun holiday? You could even add ticket stubs, receipts, and pics to your journal if you want. I don’t because I write in my bed before turning the lights out and I am too lazy to get the glue and tape…LOL
This leads us to the time of day. I have always thought bedtime was a great time because the last thing I think of before I go to bed is something positive.
Be clear about what you are writing. Let’s use the house example again. If I say I am happy with my house. That’s not really clear. Write down you didn’t know how you were going to pay the mortgage and all of a sudden you got a huge refund in the mail. That is truly clear!
However, we also want to focus on the people around us, not just the things we have in our lives. Make sure you are adding in the really nice cashier that made your day and why, your husband’s back rub he gave you unexpectedly, etc.
Keep all negativity out of this book. This is a gratitude journal. Not a gratitude journal, But…. Get the picture?
We all have terrible days when we can’t think of something fun to write. That’s ok. This is where you can be thankful for your mom, child, or spouse just because.
Get personal. Be grateful for the negative outcomes that never happened because you were able to escape them. An example could be “I am so grateful I was able to swerve away from the car and no accident happened today!
Be Consistent. It does not have to be daily, It can be weekly, daily or just the weekends, but whenever you decide on it, be consistent with it so it becomes a habit.
Give it time to become a habit. A new habit can take as little as 30 days and as much as 100 days to form. So don’t give up!
Just a few prompt ideas would be:
What is one thing I am thankful for about myself
What is something I am doing well in
Did I do something nice for someone today
Did someone do something nice for me?
Write 1 thing that is positive about a stressor today
Think about a person you admire and write about it
Name something that always puts a smile on your face
Name a way you can be kinder tomorrow
Name off an accomplishment
‘ Write about a place you visited
Write about something physically beautiful like your rose bushes, the 50ft tree in your backyard etc.
.Write about what made you laugh
Even write about a meal
Write a thankful thing from your childhood
Each day take 1 family member and write what you’re grateful for about them
Who are the top 3 people you are thankful or today
For the end of the month, quarter, &/?or year write your top highlights for the month
Write 3 things you love about your body, home, your job, your family
I think you are getting the picture. I hope those prompts help you. I will write them out in the description as well so you can print them.
You can see there are a lot of things you can write about in your journal. It can be short and sweet or big long paragraphs. It is up to you. Just give it a try for a month and see if you don’t start feeling a bit more thankful and grateful and having a bit happier sleep and dreams.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken. To get you started this journal is a nice one Here is a journal with prompts: https://amzn.to/3nGxyVA
Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise.
As a woman, we have a lot of pressure put on us to look a certain way.
We are told we have to be supermodel thin, big breasts, full lips, big hips then small hips, and then back again, act and walk sexy everywhere we go, show off our bodies, be a sex kitten, and oh so much more.
But what if we cannot live up to this huge expectation that is put on us? What if we are slightly or a lot Big Boned? What if we are physically handicapped?
What if we are BBAB and we are absolutely none of the above according to what social media and the world says we should be? Does it make us any less of a woman? Any less beautiful? Any less worthwhile?
Myself being a Big-boned and Broken woman, there have been many times in my life I have felt unworthy, useless, unattractive, and an outcast in our society.
Especially since social media and the internet can onto the scene. And yes, I grew up in the dark ages. Without cell phones, social media, and OMGsh, computers! But guess what? Even then the stigma for women to be drop-dead gorgeous and stick-thin was placed upon our shoulders. And as a big-boned teenager in the late 80’s it played a huge number in the way I felt about myself.
Today women don’t just have TV and touched-up print ads to live up to, we have filters on social media that can trim our hips or add to them. Whatever the trend is today. It can thin out our waist, give us abs, and worst yet make our face and skin look as if we are poreless and a 55-year-old woman look 25 again. Wow, how difficult is that to live up to. It is no wonder our teens are depressed, cutting, starving themselves, and worst, committing suicide.
Then you add in being a BBAB woman who suffers from chronic pain and if it’s even more depressing. We can suffer from feelings of unacceptance, feeling left out, ugly, and like we don’t belong. This leads to depression, anger at ourselves, at God, and everyone around us! Some of us will stuff these feelings down way into our gut which leads to stress, weight gain, high blood pressure, lacking a sex drive, and striking out at the people we love most.
It has taken me several years to figure out how to live in the BBAB body and feel comfortable and happy right where I am today. Oh let me make it very clear, I still struggle with many of not all of these things I mentioned but today’s Kristin feels so different, mentally than the Kristin of several years ago and I want to share with you a few things that have helped me.
I know you may not like the first thing I am going to tell you, but here it goes. Exercise. Now I realize there are a few of you who may not be able to join an exercise class or do strenuous exercise, but the majority of you who are watching this can do something.
*When I first started out I started with yoga. I sat in a chair and moved my arms and stretched my shoulders, waist, and legs. This led to feeling better and better and I finally was able to take a slow yoga class. Now I have my own yoga plan that I do almost daily at home. And yes, I still start out in the chair. Hey, why stop something that works well?
*Walking was another thing that helped. Now I was instructed to walk after my hip replacement. So I started with ½ mile several days a week and overtime it led me back out to the regional parks to hike the trails. Now I hike 3-5 miles several days a week.
*Exercise bands were another item my physical therapist had suggested and I still use them a few times a week to this day. They are not going to bulk you up, but it will give you some added strength or at least keep the strength you already have!
Eventually a few years into my journey, I decided I was still dealing with a lot of hurt, anger, and depression so I sought the wise counsel of my pastor and then a counselor. This was a smart move because it helped me to deal with some of the “It’s all my fault” and “I deserve this” attitudes I was having. My counselor opened my eyes to the realization that what was happening to me was not because I was a bad person or I deserved it, it just happened. She helped me to open my eyes to ways to deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts I was having.
Another thing I started doing was keeping a journal. Now I fully admit that today, many years later since the beginning of my BBAB journey, I don’t write in it every day. But in the beginning, I did. And let me tell you how much it helped. The first journal was just blank-lined pages and I brain-dumped everything onto those pages. As a matter of fact, I am currently transferring those journal pages onto my blog. This brain dump helped because I did not have to worry about language or hurting someone’s feelings or what people thought about me. I could just dump it all out onto a piece of paper.
*Eventually I went to a gratitude journal. This helped me to see the good things that were still in my life and were right in front of my nose. But when you are in constant pain it is hard to see those good things.
I also decided to try some holistic approaches to pain management. I tried acupuncture, meditation, CBD oil, breath therapy, sound therapy, herbal medicine, heat and ice therapy, essential oil, and several others. Many of these things I still use or do today and others did not work so well for me. I would like to persuade you to look into some of the holistic ways to deal with your chronic pain. You might find they work very well for you.
And of course, there is always traditional western medicine. Physical therapy and medications. And yes, I did and still do these too. Physical therapy helped me to know what muscles to work, why, and what, and how strengthening the muscles around the injured area can help to lessen pain. And of course, my pain management doctor has helped me with Radiofrequency oblation in my back and neck, pain medications, and steroid shots in my neck, back and knee. Depending on your injury and level of chronic pain, this may have to be the route that’s right for you.
No matter what you decide to do to help yourself and your chronic pain, remember your attitude can make or break how you feel and it can even change the whole feeling in a room of people. I am not saying we should not cry, feel down or talk to friends and family about it. I am talking about the “Poor Me” attitude. It is important to not keep this” attitude running through our brain 24/7. I was there, so I understand. Along with all the things the world says women should be that I listed at the beginning of this video and then our own internal talk, this can be way overwhelming and no matter what you do to help yourself on the outside it just won’t work until the brain gets some healing. Our internal thoughts about ourselves have to be positive. Every day you need to look in a mirror and tell yourself…” I am enough”, ”I am beautiful”, “I am useful”, “I am needed” or whatever your negative internal talk is. And please let me not try to fool you into thinking I have this all figured out myself. Because I don’t. There are days I am my worst enemy. But every day I journal, I have at least 1 thing I am grateful for, I exercise, I read my Bible, I meditate, as well as several other things to keep me happy and keep my pain levels somewhat bearable.
Look, I know it is hard to be a BBAB woman with chronic pain in a fake social media beauty-obsessed world. But, 1 step at a time, 1 happy thought at a time, 1 attitude of gratitude at a time, and each day can get better and better. If you need to, toss out social media altogether for a month and see if that helps a bit. Do you want to feel better? Do you still want to look better? It is said that happiness is marked by a feeling of great excitement and euphoria. Happiness and smiling can help with pain and make a person look stunningly beautiful. It can make people want to be around you, trust you, and model after you! So do yourself a favor and work on the head pain along with the body pain and see if in a month or two you don’t start feeling just a bit better.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken
If you like this video please hit the subscribe and notification buttons to see more videos like these.
Until next time, stay healthy, stay happy, and stay wise!
Chronic pain affects men and women differently. Over 100 million people suffer from chronic pain here in America. Women, about 35% of them, will report chronic pain to their doctor, while men only about 25%. Why is this?
Men often feel they will appear less manly or even weak. This tends to make a man grin and bear it and hide it from doctors, co-workers, family, and friends. Raise your hand if you can relate to this.
This chronic pain can give you a lack of feeling manly and can all add up to depression, being impatient, loss of work, lack of enthusiasm for work, sex, family time, exercise, and much more.
Our society tells men they have to be strong, play sports, be a weightlifter, muscular, industrious, successful in business, be accepted by other guys or be treated as an equal in social functions. This can be really hard for a guy to live up to those expectations. But then you add in being a Big Boned and Broken man with chronic pain and it can leave you feeling inadequate and honestly it is absolutely impossible to live up to this.
All of this chronic pain, depression, anxiety, stress, lack of exercise & sleep can lead to further health problems. Which leads us to the Doctor’s office. Men are less likely to open up and give details to their doctors. But on the other side of the coin, most general practitioners truly don’t know or maybe weren’t taught how to handle chronic pain and even more so, how to handle the difference between male and female chronic pain. Add to that being big-boned and the answer from the doctor is usually “Lose some weight and all this pain will just magically go away!”
Our country needs to break down this stigma of men needing to “grin and bear it” and realize you feel pain just as much as a woman does and should be allowed to show it. But until this changes, what can you do to help yourself?
First and foremost get help. We have to deal with what’s going on in our heads before anything else. I know how chronic pain can change your personality. If you are feeling depressed or acting out to family, friends, and coworkers, feeling overwhelmed, etc., then consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, pastor, or counselor. You are NOT any less of a man because you admit you need help, cry, or have pain or because you are big-boned and broken.
Consider journaling if talking is just NOT going to happen or maybe you just don’t have a person to talk to or the funds for a counselor or don’t have a pastor. Sometimes jotting down your feelings can make a huge change in your attitude and your perspective on things. I will leave a link in the description to a couple of journals that you might like to use.
Research a few articles on holistic pain management skills. A few ideas would be yoga, meditation, acupuncture, breathing exercises, light physical activity, and even massage. There are so many ways to handle pain holistically and these I have mentioned are just a few. Find one that sounds good to you and give it a try for a couple of months. Remember holistic medicine does not change things overnight so give it a little time.
Don’t forget about the traditional way to handle pain through your pain management doctor, physical therapy, and of course medications if the pain is over the top. And please be open to your doctor so he can direct you in the path that will work best for you and your chronic pain.
Look all those things I mention at the beginning of what the world says a man should be can be a part of what a man can be but it does not make you a man if you do all those things or any less of a man if you cannot achieve any other those things. So what makes a man?
I believe a true man is one who is loving to his wife and children, family, friends, and coworkers. One who keeps his promises shows kindness not just to people he knows but to strangers, knows when to say I am sorry when he makes a mistake, and the most important is a man of upstanding character.
Sometimes all we need to do is change our attitude about our life, our situation, or about other people to make us feel better. You know they say happiness is euphoric. So first and foremost work on an attitude of gratitude.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken.
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