Living with chronic pain is tough. I have been doing it since 2015. It’s not just the physical discomfort; it affects our emotions and moods too. As someone who understands this firsthand, I want to share my thoughts on how chronic pain can change our moods. It’s a conversation that needs more attention, so let’s dive in together.
The Weight of Suffering
You know that feeling when the pain becomes a constant companion? It’s like carrying a heavy burden on our shoulders all the time. It doesn’t just affect our bodies; it seeps into our emotions, making it harder to find happiness and joy. The weight of suffering can cast a shadow over our lives and make it tough to see the brighter side of things.
Battling the Shadows
Chronic pain brings out a whole range of emotions I never expected. Anger, frustration, and resentment become frequent visitors as we struggle with the unfairness of it all. We start questioning why our bodies have turned against us and why our lives have taken this unexpected turn, what we might have done wrong to deserve this pain, and so on. It can feel lonely like no one truly understands what we’re going through.
The Waltz of Depression
Depression often sneaks in when chronic pain is around. The unrelenting nature of the pain chips away at our resilience and leaves us vulnerable to exceptional sadness. We might feel hopeless, and sad, as well as lose interest in the things we used to enjoy. It becomes a tricky dance, trying to find our way forward while darkness looms.
Anxiety’s Grip On Us
Living with chronic pain means living with uncertainty. And that uncertainty can trigger anxiety, wrapping us up in worry and fear. We become anxious about when the next wave of pain will hit or how we’ll cope with it. Due to the pain, we experience, we constantly worry about the places we’re headed, fearing that we might become the party pooper and have the urge to leave or go home. It’s like having a constant companion, making it harder to fully engage in life.
Our Relationships Can be Under Strain
Chronic pain doesn’t just affect us; it affects our relationships with out family and friends as well. Our mood swings, irritability, and inability to participate in activities can strain our connections with loved ones. We crave understanding and support, but sometimes it feels like we’re on our own, feeling disconnected from those we care about.
Living with chronic pain is a daily battle that goes beyond physical discomfort. It affects our moods and emotions, shaping our lives in ways I know I we never expected. It’s important to acknowledge and address the emotional toll that chronic pain takes on us. Remember, your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to recognize the emotional challenges that come with chronic pain.
If you’re going through chronic pain, know that you’re not alone. Seek support from medical professionals, therapists, and support groups. Let’s have conversations about chronic pain and raise awareness so that nobody has to suffer in silence. Together, we can work towards a world where empathy, understanding, and effective treatments are available for those living with chronic pain.
Do you even go to the doctor and forget what you wanted to talk about?
Do you even have unexpected pain but a month or two later forgot about it at your next Dr appointment?
Yup, me too! Well, that is, until I figured out about keeping a pain journal. So grab a pencil and paper so you can take notes
Those of us who live with chronic pain and who are willing to keep a pain log, journal, or diary can truly provide invaluable assistance to our Pain Management doctors and our GP doctors. These journals can help your doctor to diagnose the actual source of the pain. This will then help your doctor to put together therapy, medication, or remedy to help you manage your pain. It really does not matter if you have been dealing with chronic pain for many years or you are brand new to pain. The pain log is where you will write down everything about your pain.
Let’s look at some of the benefits of keeping a pain log are…
It can help you to remember what, when, and where the pain has been since your last doctor’s appointment
It can uncover any changes in your current condition
It can help you to recognized certain triggers or flare ups that make the pain worst
Such as food
Weather
Physical activity
It can point out some emotional problems that may have occurred or are becoming a problem because of the pain
It will shed a ton of light on side effects from medication and then help the doctor make any adjustment that may need to be made
A huge benefit is it can illuminate any patterns in your pain. This is important because we can see time of day, food allergies, stressors etc that can be causing you pain or making it get out of control
And for those of us who are not great communicators, it gives us a way to communicate to our doctor and better answer their questions that they may ask.
And, overall, it helps us to have a sense of control over our own health and well being
So the question you should be asking now is what should I write down? Let me run down a list of 7 extremely simple MAIN things you should be journaling about. Here is where you will want to grab a pencil and paper to take notes.
Each days entry should have the date and times.
You should have a pain scale rating such as 1 thru 10 where 1 is no pain and 10 is “I feel like I am dying”
There should be a sleep rating scale as well. We all know sleep can greatly affect our pain level. So keep track of your sleep by having a 1-10 hours for this area
You should be recording your activity level for the day and a scale. Continue with the 1-10 where 1 is I did not even lift a finger and 10 benign I ran a marathon
You want to make sure you are making a notation of what area on your body in which you felt the pain
Make sure you are also jotting down the time of day there is acute pain with an area to describe the level of acute pain and maybe even a trigger, if you know it. Such as “It was walking and stepped on a rock”. Or “I had coffee and I know it is a trigger for my migraines” or “It was cold and wet out today”..
You want to have an area where you are describing the following..
How long the pain lasted
Did the pain interrupt the day
Describing the type of pain. You want to use descriptive words like acute, throbbing, pulsing, tingling, burning etc. And whether or not the pain moved around.
Also you want to note if you did anything or took anything which made the pain better
Of course you will want to write down your observation as to whether or not there were other symptoms that went along with it
And, of course describe your mood before and after the pain started
Remember the more precise you are the better. And I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Well, I am in pain in the same spot every day!” It’s OK. Log it. Because I bet you when you start paying attention to it more you might find there are several days you did not realize you had inflammation and it was slowing you down. Or the day you went to the mall you had more pain than normal but took a pain pill and felt better. So make sure to write it down even if you think it is the same every day!!
And don’t feel like you have to make a journal entry every single hour. Think about writing your pain level down maybe 2-4 times a day or so. Write upon waking up, at lunch, maybe hump hour-3 pm, and before bed. If that still seems a bit overwhelming, then consider writing just at the end of the day. The more you can log the better this will give you and your doctor a great insight into your pain throughout the day.
Remember the journal you use should work for you and your personality. You could log your information in a spiral notebook, a fancy leather journal, or a pain diary like the one I made here. I will put a link to it in the description box if you would like to pick one up for yourself or a loved one who is dealing with chronic pain. Also, consider sharing this video with them as well so they can understand the benefits of logging their pain.
I made this journal originally for myself and I take it along with me to my monthly pain management appointments. It has been a great asset to my visits for helping me to remember things that were going on but may have stopped by the time I went to my appointment. You know how that is. I always look over my journal entries before my appointment and flag the days that were out of the ordinary. This also has made me much more aware of my body, the foods that cause more pain and inflammation, and just an overall awareness of how my chronic pain ebbs and flows.
I did mention it was important to also start a food log. The reason for this is when you have an onset of pain or inflammation for a few days you can easily look back and see what you ate for that day which might have made it worst. Maybe you had soda every day which is out of the ordinary for you. You ate cheese every day, or too much alcohol, or whatever.
Harvard Health Medical and Dr. Fred Tabung who is a researcher with the Department of Nutrition at Harvard’s School of Public Healthsays the food you eat can determine how well your body fights inflammation. It’s been said that you are what you eat, and that’s definitely true when it comes to chronic pain. “A lot of chronic pain is the result of chronic inflammation, and the evidence is quite strong that your diet can contribute to increased systemic inflammation, But your diet is also one of the best ways to reduce it.”
When we first start dealing with our injuries, before the chronic pain sets in, our body protected itself with inflammation and that inflammation eventually goes away. However, when you are dealing with someone who has chronic issues, this inflammation can stay with us which can, over time, damage our healthy cells and organs and cause heart disease (which is what my mom passed away from) it can also cause diabetes and even some cancers. This is why keeping track of what food we are eating and our inflammation and our pain level can drastically help us in the long run. We can finally find out that the yummy thing we have been eating for years and years is now an inflammatory junk food for our body. Even if it is a healthy food.
Overall, logging your pain is one of the simplest acts you can take into helping yourself and even possibly healing your chronic pain. Of course, that’s depending on why you are experiencing this pain. Truly, It doesn’t have to cost any money or very little money and can take just a few minutes each day.
If you are like me, I am always trying to figure out how to feel better. How to make my chronic painless.
And how to communicate to my doctor to get the best results.
My pain and food diary has helped me so much over the years. It has helped me to know which foods cause inflammation as well as which activities to stay away from. I highly recommend, if you are dealing with chronic pain, to start logging your pain today.
Save this video so you can go back and write down what to log or consider sharing it with a family member who is dealing with pain.
And again I will share a link to my pain journal in the description so you don’t have to worry about what to log and can start logging right away and bring it to your next doctor’s appointment!
Until next time Stay Healthy, Stay Happy, and Stay Wise
Strategies to Get Your Broken Body Outside and Moving Again
Are you disabled or have mobility issues? Do you wish you could get outside to exercise or hike again?
More than 1 in 4 adults in the US have a disability according to the CDC and Harvard. And due to some of these disabilities, it can cause you to stop exercising which can lead you to be 3x more likely to have heart disease, stroke, diabetes, etc.
Being outdoors can not only improve your physical health but also boost your emotional and spiritual well-being. It has been known to cure the blues, bring a smile on your face, relieve stress, snuff out of a bad day, relieve depression, and just a general feeling of well-being.
But sometimes for those of us who are disabled, have mobility issues, or have chronic pain, it can feel like it’s Out Of Reach. I can totally relate to these feelings. I am a Big Boned and Broken person with chronic pain and mobility issues too and have dealt with having to give up my love for hiking. However, being outdoors, walking and hiking can be for just about everyone. It will just look different depending on your body and your disabilities.
I have+ 15 easy strategies for those with all levels of disabilities, chronic pain, or mobility issues to help you get either Outdoors or out on those trails. Try 1 or try them all. So let’s get started.
Look for paved sidewalks or trails. Now I will say for those of us who have chronic back pain this can actually be a more painful experience having the hard concrete underneath our feet. But for those who are on crutches or a wheelchair, this is a perfect option.
If you are in a wheelchair look for either wheelchair or stroller access Trails. There are many sites that will give you detailed information about different trails in your area
Take it slow. Build up your endurance and strength by taking it as slow as you need. Don’t be a speed demon. Speed is not the goal, time outside and endurance should be the goal here.
For those of us who are walking, use hiking poles, even on pavement. This can take a lot of the weight off your back, hips, and legs and distribute it more evenly throughout your entire body.
Hike with a partner. This is really important when you’re first starting out. Think about it this way. If the pain gets too much to handle, you fall, or you just can’t go any further, your partner can go and grab the car while you sit and wait.
Start small. Start with ¼ of a mile or ½ a mile and build yourself up. This is a great way to start getting your arms and legs straightened and increase your endurance.
Don’t be a weekend warrior. Hike or walk a few times each week. It is much better to have three short ½-mile hikes than one big huge 3-mile hike. This will keep you from being laid up for a day or two because of excess pain.
Be careful of hike ratings on some of the apps. What a fully capable twenty-year-old deems as easy can be much more difficult for those of us who are Big Boned and Broken and have mobility issues, disabilities, and of course chronic pain. Read the reviews to get a better picture of what the trail really looks like.
Look at Google Maps either at the terrain or the satellite to get a better idea of what the trail inclines and terrain will be like
Consider getting an app like alltrails where it will give you ratings, pictures, explanations of what the trails are like Etc.
This next one goes along with #10. Be willing to write your own reviews on hiking apps to help other people to know how the terrain and trail are for disabled or handicapped individuals.
Get the right shoes for hiking. If you’re going to hike, whether it is on the trails, concrete, or in the hills, tennis shoes might not be the right fit for all those adventures. Your feet, back, legs, etc will be very unhappy. It is not only important to think of your injury, but your feet and the right shoes will make or break your new adventures outside.
Find a hiking group in your area that have similar interests and circumstances. This can not only make the hiking fun if you’re new to it but even if you’ve been doing it for a while. Shoot, you might make a new bestie!
If you’re not ready to get on the trails consider taking a nature challenge. This is where you go out each day for a week or even a month and you find different natural elements and draw them or take pictures of them and post them to the group. This can be done just walking down a neighbor or two, in your backyard, or even at a park while your watching your child play on the swings.
Lastly, I know there are some of you who are saying this is absolutely not possible for me yet. I am still in recovery, or this disability thing is still new to me. I get it. I was there for 3 years after my accident. So if hiking or walking is just not a possibility then at least sit outside once a day in the Sun for 10 or 15 minutes. If you are in an apartment, surround yourself with potted foliage, flowers, and even pictures inside your house of The Great Outdoors. Do you remember why? You got it. To boost your emotional and spiritual well-being
Hiking and walking were once taken away from me after my accident. But I started with walking just down and back 2 houses, then around my block, which is only 1/2 mile, and I did this several times a week. Then to my neighborhood’s, very flat, 1-mile dirt Trail. This is when I realized my body was getting stronger and I could do more.
So I gathered up the courage and went to my nearest Regional Park after researching all the trails and realized that one of the regional parks had a dirt trail that was flatish. So I walked this for a while. Then I moved up to going on steeper inclines and then moved to longer hikes and then moved to the hills. And now I hike some pretty good hills and go anywhere from 2 to 5 miles each hike. But it took time, research, trial and error, walking to a certain point and realizing I had to turn around because it was too much. And sometimes, unfortunately, it also caused more pain. Why? Because there were multiple times that I did more than I should have. I didn’t start off with the right gear. I did this by myself instead of with a partner. So when I got tired or felt I could not go on, I had no choice. This is why I decided to share these strategies with you. If I would have found something like this video when I was starting out, it might have saved me from aggravation at the beginning. So if you know anyone who needs to hear this information hit the share button now and send this video to them.
I believe hiking is for just about everyone no matter your fitness level, type of disability, or even your pain level. Whether you’re on crutches, in a wheelchair, or walking. You can get out there and walk and take a hike. It may take time to build up to it but you can do it and it may be 1 or 2 houses and back, around your block, with a helper or guide, or out on the trails in a park. It doesn’t matter. Just try something new today and be willing to do your research, get your right gear, and take it slow, and above all, talk to your doctor and make sure it is safe for you to do this. So today get out there and see some more green even if it’s just surrounding yourself with flowers and potted plants on your balcony. Start today with a little more outdoor and green time and see if it doesn’t start to uplift your mood.
Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise!
When you think about or talk about chronic pain, you may only think about the physical side of it. However, chronic pain can have a huge impact on a person’s life physically and mentally. It can change our sleep patterns and cause restlessness at night and even during the day. Given the lack of sleep and the constant thumping of pain somewhere in your body, this can lead to a disinterest in hobbies and social events. A feeling of anxiety. It can cause you to starve yourself, binge eats, feel isolated even when people are around you. It can lead to feelings of frustration and destructive self-talk. And worst yet, it can lead to or exacerbate depression.
One of the main things we have to beware of is the internal talk. Having destructive self-talk can make the situation worse and keep you from coping with your pain in a more constructive manner. When we are constantly flooding our brain with how much pain we are in and telling ourselves, “no one cares”, “I am a burden”,” I am useless”, “I can’t take this”, “It is all my fault”, or whatever your internal talk is, it can exacerbate the sadness, depression and even the pain. This was my self-talk for the first few years after my accident and the more I talked to myself like this the more depressed I got. And worse yet? These thought patterns turned into belief patterns which, I gotta tell you are hard to get rid of, but you can! And let me just note here that I still struggle with this every now and then. So this is an ongoing learning process for us all.
So then what? Our next step then is to hide our feelings. So my thought pattern was, for many years, “I don’t want to burden the people around me or bring them down. So I will say everything is just fine, smile, and if the pain gets too much, grin and bear it!” Does anyone identify with this?
We who deal with chronic pain know how it feels when we have to deal with the consequences of overdoing ourselves and dealing with the extra pain afterward. We know how it feels to want to go to a social function yet when we get there all we can think about is going home because we are so uncomfortable. This continual pain can lead to our brains not being able to focus. My daughter calls me out on this all the time. She will tell me something and 5 seconds later I will ask her what she said. It is not because I am not listening, but between the pain and any medications that someone with chronic pain takes it can fog up the brain and thought patterns. And then we make the situation worst by telling ourselves we are bad moms, wives, friends, and co-workers.
We can also have the thoughts that people don’t believe us. Even with having had an accident, being hospitalized, and casts you would think it would be enough for my brain to not think this. But there it was rearing its ugly head. Especially nowadays because I am so much more active than I was at the beginning. More self-sabotaging thoughts!
OK, so what am I to do? I’m down all the time and I can’t seem to talk to myself in a nice way! Well, I could tell you to just have positive thoughts. But we know that we cannot control our thoughts 100% of the time. Consider watching When Your Feeling Down-10 Easy Ways to Being Happy These 10 simple steps can bring you more cheer in your day when you’re just feeling a bit down. However, there are just extra steps above that video that can help.
First and foremost, allow yourself to feel these things for a moment. And if you feel ready, go talk to someone. Let me tell you this was the best decision I ever made. My hip replacement happened, then my accident, and then my mom died all within 3 months. Then I found out I had cancer in the following 2 months. Do you think I wasn’t down? I was ready to give it all up. I blamed myself for my accident, my mom having to go into a center while I was in rehab and even for my cancer. I am not sure what would have happened if I did not go to my church and seek counseling. It changed my perspective on everything. So this is why it is the first and foremost thing you should do. Especially if your thoughts are running into hurting yourself or suicide path like mine was.
The best coping mechanism that was taught to me was to ask just a couple of questions when my thoughts were going off the path. 1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel? 3. What would my husband, children, God, or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? And then journal those feelings. For me the 1st question well, sometimes, i would say to myself, yes of course it is true! But then I would ask the 2nd one and realize how harmful and hurtful I was being. But the last 2 questions? WOW, would I ever say these thoughts to any of the people? NO Would I be happy if any of those people said it to me? NO WAY! I would eventually realize it was my own self-sabotaging self-talk and not truth.
Look there is no 1 size fits all, to help with chronic pain or sadness and depression for those of us who suffer from it. But we can start with self-talk! And if you are watching and have a loved one who suffers from chronic pain, then be willing to sit and listen. They may not come out right away and talk about their true feelings. It may take a few months of consistently getting together every day or weekly, asking open-ended questions, and being willing to put aside what is going on in your life for just 20 or 30 minutes. Eventually, they will begin to realize you are trustworthy, loving, really do care, and truly are willing to listen!
You are taking care of yourself physically already with doctors, exercise, eating right, pain management, etc. So why not continue the process of taking care of yourself mentally. Starting today ask yourself those 4 questions…1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel? 3. What would my husband, children, God or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? Grab a journal and start putting your feelings down. And if you’re ready, go seek help from a professional. Don’t wait until it is out of control.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken
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Just from the title, you may think to yourself “What do I have to be grateful for?” I don’t even know you or your situation but I can think of 10 things you can be grateful for right this moment and I bet you can too. Today we are going to talk about starting a gratitude journal. What is it? Why keep it? Where to get them? And how to do it?.
So what is a gratitude journal? It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a journal that you write in on a regular basis where you jot down the things you are grateful for each day. It is that simple. Keeping a gratitude journal can increase your overall feeling of happiness, reduce symptoms of depression, and increase a more euphoric overall well-being. Hey that is pretty cool for just a sentence or two a day, don’t you think?
As far as what journal to get? Well, that is not as important as doing it. There are some specific gratitude journals that give you a prompt. There are those that are just lined pages, some are dated, but overall it is more important to just start! You can go just about anywhere to get a lined journal these days, but I’ll link some in the description if you just have no idea where to start. Some of these were ones I liked over the years!
So this brings us to the how and the meat of this video. How, is pretty easy. Just write down something that day for which you are thankful. Oh, but I know that is easier said than done. So I have a few ideas for you to follow.
Don’t write the same thing every day. “I am thankful for our home”! That is a great one to write especially if you were not sure if you could pay the mortgage that month, but every day? No! Which leads me to
Be creative. What about the nice meal you had with your family that day. How about having a fun holiday? You could even add ticket stubs, receipts, and pics to your journal if you want. I don’t because I write in my bed before turning the lights out and I am too lazy to get the glue and tape…LOL
This leads us to the time of day. I have always thought bedtime was a great time because the last thing I think of before I go to bed is something positive.
Be clear about what you are writing. Let’s use the house example again. If I say I am happy with my house. That’s not really clear. Write down you didn’t know how you were going to pay the mortgage and all of a sudden you got a huge refund in the mail. That is truly clear!
However, we also want to focus on the people around us, not just the things we have in our lives. Make sure you are adding in the really nice cashier that made your day and why, your husband’s back rub he gave you unexpectedly, etc.
Keep all negativity out of this book. This is a gratitude journal. Not a gratitude journal, But…. Get the picture?
We all have terrible days when we can’t think of something fun to write. That’s ok. This is where you can be thankful for your mom, child, or spouse just because.
Get personal. Be grateful for the negative outcomes that never happened because you were able to escape them. An example could be “I am so grateful I was able to swerve away from the car and no accident happened today!
Be Consistent. It does not have to be daily, It can be weekly, daily or just the weekends, but whenever you decide on it, be consistent with it so it becomes a habit.
Give it time to become a habit. A new habit can take as little as 30 days and as much as 100 days to form. So don’t give up!
Just a few prompt ideas would be:
What is one thing I am thankful for about myself
What is something I am doing well in
Did I do something nice for someone today
Did someone do something nice for me?
Write 1 thing that is positive about a stressor today
Think about a person you admire and write about it
Name something that always puts a smile on your face
Name a way you can be kinder tomorrow
Name off an accomplishment
‘ Write about a place you visited
Write about something physically beautiful like your rose bushes, the 50ft tree in your backyard etc.
.Write about what made you laugh
Even write about a meal
Write a thankful thing from your childhood
Each day take 1 family member and write what you’re grateful for about them
Who are the top 3 people you are thankful or today
For the end of the month, quarter, &/?or year write your top highlights for the month
Write 3 things you love about your body, home, your job, your family
I think you are getting the picture. I hope those prompts help you. I will write them out in the description as well so you can print them.
You can see there are a lot of things you can write about in your journal. It can be short and sweet or big long paragraphs. It is up to you. Just give it a try for a month and see if you don’t start feeling a bit more thankful and grateful and having a bit happier sleep and dreams.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken. To get you started this journal is a nice one Here is a journal with prompts: https://amzn.to/3nGxyVA
Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise.
As a woman, we have a lot of pressure put on us to look a certain way.
We are told we have to be supermodel thin, big breasts, full lips, big hips then small hips, and then back again, act and walk sexy everywhere we go, show off our bodies, be a sex kitten, and oh so much more.
But what if we cannot live up to this huge expectation that is put on us? What if we are slightly or a lot Big Boned? What if we are physically handicapped?
What if we are BBAB and we are absolutely none of the above according to what social media and the world says we should be? Does it make us any less of a woman? Any less beautiful? Any less worthwhile?
Myself being a Big-boned and Broken woman, there have been many times in my life I have felt unworthy, useless, unattractive, and an outcast in our society.
Especially since social media and the internet can onto the scene. And yes, I grew up in the dark ages. Without cell phones, social media, and OMGsh, computers! But guess what? Even then the stigma for women to be drop-dead gorgeous and stick-thin was placed upon our shoulders. And as a big-boned teenager in the late 80’s it played a huge number in the way I felt about myself.
Today women don’t just have TV and touched-up print ads to live up to, we have filters on social media that can trim our hips or add to them. Whatever the trend is today. It can thin out our waist, give us abs, and worst yet make our face and skin look as if we are poreless and a 55-year-old woman look 25 again. Wow, how difficult is that to live up to. It is no wonder our teens are depressed, cutting, starving themselves, and worst, committing suicide.
Then you add in being a BBAB woman who suffers from chronic pain and if it’s even more depressing. We can suffer from feelings of unacceptance, feeling left out, ugly, and like we don’t belong. This leads to depression, anger at ourselves, at God, and everyone around us! Some of us will stuff these feelings down way into our gut which leads to stress, weight gain, high blood pressure, lacking a sex drive, and striking out at the people we love most.
It has taken me several years to figure out how to live in the BBAB body and feel comfortable and happy right where I am today. Oh let me make it very clear, I still struggle with many of not all of these things I mentioned but today’s Kristin feels so different, mentally than the Kristin of several years ago and I want to share with you a few things that have helped me.
I know you may not like the first thing I am going to tell you, but here it goes. Exercise. Now I realize there are a few of you who may not be able to join an exercise class or do strenuous exercise, but the majority of you who are watching this can do something.
*When I first started out I started with yoga. I sat in a chair and moved my arms and stretched my shoulders, waist, and legs. This led to feeling better and better and I finally was able to take a slow yoga class. Now I have my own yoga plan that I do almost daily at home. And yes, I still start out in the chair. Hey, why stop something that works well?
*Walking was another thing that helped. Now I was instructed to walk after my hip replacement. So I started with ½ mile several days a week and overtime it led me back out to the regional parks to hike the trails. Now I hike 3-5 miles several days a week.
*Exercise bands were another item my physical therapist had suggested and I still use them a few times a week to this day. They are not going to bulk you up, but it will give you some added strength or at least keep the strength you already have!
Eventually a few years into my journey, I decided I was still dealing with a lot of hurt, anger, and depression so I sought the wise counsel of my pastor and then a counselor. This was a smart move because it helped me to deal with some of the “It’s all my fault” and “I deserve this” attitudes I was having. My counselor opened my eyes to the realization that what was happening to me was not because I was a bad person or I deserved it, it just happened. She helped me to open my eyes to ways to deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts I was having.
Another thing I started doing was keeping a journal. Now I fully admit that today, many years later since the beginning of my BBAB journey, I don’t write in it every day. But in the beginning, I did. And let me tell you how much it helped. The first journal was just blank-lined pages and I brain-dumped everything onto those pages. As a matter of fact, I am currently transferring those journal pages onto my blog. This brain dump helped because I did not have to worry about language or hurting someone’s feelings or what people thought about me. I could just dump it all out onto a piece of paper.
*Eventually I went to a gratitude journal. This helped me to see the good things that were still in my life and were right in front of my nose. But when you are in constant pain it is hard to see those good things.
I also decided to try some holistic approaches to pain management. I tried acupuncture, meditation, CBD oil, breath therapy, sound therapy, herbal medicine, heat and ice therapy, essential oil, and several others. Many of these things I still use or do today and others did not work so well for me. I would like to persuade you to look into some of the holistic ways to deal with your chronic pain. You might find they work very well for you.
And of course, there is always traditional western medicine. Physical therapy and medications. And yes, I did and still do these too. Physical therapy helped me to know what muscles to work, why, and what, and how strengthening the muscles around the injured area can help to lessen pain. And of course, my pain management doctor has helped me with Radiofrequency oblation in my back and neck, pain medications, and steroid shots in my neck, back and knee. Depending on your injury and level of chronic pain, this may have to be the route that’s right for you.
No matter what you decide to do to help yourself and your chronic pain, remember your attitude can make or break how you feel and it can even change the whole feeling in a room of people. I am not saying we should not cry, feel down or talk to friends and family about it. I am talking about the “Poor Me” attitude. It is important to not keep this” attitude running through our brain 24/7. I was there, so I understand. Along with all the things the world says women should be that I listed at the beginning of this video and then our own internal talk, this can be way overwhelming and no matter what you do to help yourself on the outside it just won’t work until the brain gets some healing. Our internal thoughts about ourselves have to be positive. Every day you need to look in a mirror and tell yourself…” I am enough”, ”I am beautiful”, “I am useful”, “I am needed” or whatever your negative internal talk is. And please let me not try to fool you into thinking I have this all figured out myself. Because I don’t. There are days I am my worst enemy. But every day I journal, I have at least 1 thing I am grateful for, I exercise, I read my Bible, I meditate, as well as several other things to keep me happy and keep my pain levels somewhat bearable.
Look, I know it is hard to be a BBAB woman with chronic pain in a fake social media beauty-obsessed world. But, 1 step at a time, 1 happy thought at a time, 1 attitude of gratitude at a time, and each day can get better and better. If you need to, toss out social media altogether for a month and see if that helps a bit. Do you want to feel better? Do you still want to look better? It is said that happiness is marked by a feeling of great excitement and euphoria. Happiness and smiling can help with pain and make a person look stunningly beautiful. It can make people want to be around you, trust you, and model after you! So do yourself a favor and work on the head pain along with the body pain and see if in a month or two you don’t start feeling just a bit better.
I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken
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Until next time, stay healthy, stay happy, and stay wise!
Just a few shots at our mountain. AllTrails said 35% grade. Eesshh!
Holy Cow, we did it! Yesterday, if you have been following me, I went on a hike and found a really steep mountain I wanted to climb. I tried a portion of it and got scared because I was alone and headed back. But I knew I was going to conquer that hill if it was the last thing I did. Well, why not the very next day.
Last night I texted my girlfriend Kathy who hikes with me 1 or 2 times a week. I asked her if she was going to hike with me tomorrow and she said sure. I also asked her if she wouldn’t mind if we did harder than our normal hikes, and again she said yes! Whoo-hoo! Now I had a partner to go down and back up this mountain and be there in case something happened and I needed help. I went to bed feeling ecstatic in anticipation for the next morning. I arose at 5 am feeling ready to go, did my morning yoga session, and off I went to the park.
When we got to the park before we even set foot in Santiago Oaks Regional Park I asked her if she was OK with about a 35-40% trail grade and she agreed so off we went. When we got to the top of the trail, I think she did a triple take and was a little nervous about it even though she did not say it. We discussed how just 7 months ago, I would have never even contemplated doing a trial like this. I did not have good balance or footing and my fear would have overtaken the hike. As a matter of fact, we did a trial, Grasshopper, that was a pretty good grade and very rocky once at the beginning of the year and I almost had a heart attack doing it. I was terrified and vowed NEVER again!
Well, that never is here. Kathy and I took on Peralta Hills Trail going down very gingerly and slowly making sure every step was secure and firm. It took us probably a little longer than a nimble, not big or broken 20 years old would do, but we got to the bottom of that huge hill. As we meandered further along the trail we were keeping a close eye on the time. I wanted to give us double the amount of time it took us to come down to go back up. I wanted to make sure Kathy was able to get back to her car so she could get to work on time.
Once we were good ways down the trail it was time to turn around. Yeah, that is when the reality of what we had to do to get back to our cars set in. Yup, we had to climb that hill. So off we go. I have to be honest, it was not as bad as I ever thought it would have been. Going down was way scarier and harder. Thank God for my trekking pole. They help me so much with balance and keeping that firm footing on the path as well as giving me a full-body workout while I hike. Poor Kathy she does not have a pair.
Anyway, about 1/4 of the way up Kathy started feeling sick in the tummy. It was time to stop! Unfortunately, she was dehydrated and overheated. She had not hydrated up the night before or that morning. You see when you hike, run, or whatever in this kind of California summer/fall heat, it is so important to drink plenty of water the day before and then drink at the extreme very least 8oz when you get up an hour before the hike. Anyway, I told her to sit right there in the middle of the path, drink, and cool off! I had some extra iced water for my dog (clean water) and I poured some over her head and gave her some to drink as well. We actually had a nice cyclist stop and ask if everything was ok and if we needed help. Aww, most of the people I meet on the trails are so nice. Then we proceeded to watch this guy go down this ridiculous steep mountain at a speed that made my tummy start hurting!
Once we got her tummy and legs feeling a bit better we headed back up. Now I have trekking poles and my girlfriend does not, so unfortunately there were a few spots she had to use her hands to get up that hill. I am very grateful for my poles because my hands stayed clean-ish.
It was the most exhilarating climb I have had on these trails since I started back to hiking mid 2020. When we got to the top I stood there looking out and then I could not help myself. I put my arms high up in the air and screamed “WooHoo”! The rest of the hike was just basic, nothing too hard, but the whole way back to the car I was smiling. I (we) had achieved something I never thought I could do. We both felt so accomplished and able. Even as I write this I am still on a hiker’s High!
I am glad I decided to start sharing some of my hikes with you all. It has made me realize just how much I have accomplished in such a very short time. Especially since I am going backward and writing out my journal from early on in my journey. You can check out some of those posts on the category called My Journals.
Let me tell you if I can do it so can you! I mean obviously, you have to start at whatever level you are at, but just start. I have another girlfriend who is an ironwoman and runs miles and miles. And I realized one day when I was looking at her post and wishing I could hike and be able to keep up with her that she, at some point in her life, started out small as well. She did not go out the gate running 30 miles a day, right? And that is what I have learned from my experience with these hills I am hiking.
About 1 1/2 years ago I was on a scooter for most things that required any amount of walking including the grocery store. I would have never been able to walk the entire OC VegFest like I did last weekend. I was not able to go to Costco and walk the entire store without a scooter. Shoot I wasn’t able to stand and cook a full meal without sitting down every 5 minutes. And NEVER would I have been able to climb the mountain I climbed today!
Yes, I still use my scooter sometimes when I have problems standing still in long lines or anything that required lots of hard concrete walking like Knotts or Disney, but just look at what one step at a time haS done for me? I have come from quitting teaching choir because I could not handle the pain of 3 hours of teaching to hiking a 35% grade mountain. One step at a time has changed my life and It can do it for you as well! All you have to do is start and not expect your body to do what it used to do before your illness or injury. You want to start hiking and live near me, contact me. let’s do it TOGETHER!
BTW, when I say we hiked an hour I meant just an hour going down. We hiked another hour+ going back up.
This is a 360 view of the OCVegan Fest Use your mouse or fingers to view it in it’s entirety
Some of you may know that I am a pescatarian/vegetarian. I went from a meat-eater to a vegan right after Easter 2012. I was feeling bad all the time, always had an upset tummy, sluggish. I had done some research on different ways of eating to make my tummy feel better and decided since I was not a huge meat lover anyway, trying veganism couldn’t be that hard. Well, I was wrong, going from meat 3x a day to nothing was not an easy task. Not hard to stop eating meat, but hard to figure out what to cook.
Anyway, after about 2 months of trying to figure it out, reading, reading, and more reading, I decided to go more of a vegetarian lifestyle with eggs and cheese now and then. Plus I had to think of my family. All three of them were vigorous meat-eaters. Well, eventually, I decided to add fish back into my diet. I am a massive fish lover. I grew up eating squid, clams, trout, salmon, etc. I could eat it 24/7. Now I only eat it when we eat out or 1X a week at home. So that is, in a very brief nutshell, how I went from meat-eater to pescatarian/vegetarian and I feel my best when I stick to very little eggs, no milk, and a little cheese and lots of colorful vegetables with some fish 1 or 2 times a week. My tummy feels better too. And the best thing, my family (even though they won’t admit it) feels better too without all that meat! But this article is not supposed to be about my eating habits…LOL.
After a very long wait, the OCVegan Fest is back. They actually changed their location and it is better. And let’s not confuse this with the SoCal Veg Fest which is 10X the size and happens only 1x a year. This is a small hometown (Santa Ana) one time a month food fest that happens in a nearby town to where I live.
I am so grateful that they are back. The food is Out Of This World delicious. If you have never tried vegan food, you don’t know what you are missing. My husband and I decided to have the Franks. I never was a huge Hot Dog fan when I ate meat (except when we were really broke), but these sausage dogs are the absolute best. OMGsh! There were also tamales, tacos, fresh-squeezed flavored lemonades, faux chicken and burgers, of course, fries, salads, shoot, you name it, they had it. My only complaint about the whole thing is they had about 4 tables with a tent over it and the rest were in the direct sun. For next month I am hoping they will bring out more tents, at least until it cools down.
On the other side of the fair were several traders selling their wares. It is always fun to look at what people are selling. Some of the products were crystals, homemade clothing, tie-dyed T’s, Mexican wrestling masks, vegan purses, jewelry, and more. I do hope since they are back the vendors will start wanting to come and sell and that as time goes on, there will be more and more vendors selling their goodies! it is fun to look at all the handiwork and buy the stuff you don’t really need and sometimes really need! LOL
The other thing is this is very dog friendly. My only complaint, it is on blacktop and only one tent for shade. It was a bit too hot for my all-black coated pooch. While we were eating, I shoved her under the table with some water to keep her cool. That worked well, but my poor shoulders got a bit of a beating while we were listening to some great music and munching on our lunch.
Overall, I am so glad we went. We had a great lunch and spent a couple of hours looking around, eating, and then strolling some of the shopping on the main shopping street in Santa Ana. If you are in or around the area, I highly suggest you check out the links above or below for them and come visit next month. They hold it every month. Hope to see you there next month!
Hmm, Well, I am sure you have realized by now I have not posted a podcast in a long while. I realized it is just not me. I am not comfortable doing them, my brain doesn’t think fast enough, I truly do not have the gift of gab. I am more of a straight-to-the-point type of person. For me to talk for 30 minutes straight was really hard and I just do not like to do podcasts. I much rather write an article and post some pictures and videos. So I have decided to do just that!
I also am going to add another element to my blog. I am going to take you with me on a journey of recovery. I am going to backtrack to the beginning as well as take you to where I am today! When I was going through the onset of being broken, I wrote down some of my thoughts as well as photographs of what was going on during this time of recovery. I thought I would post some of those writings and pictures/videos if available.
I am hoping by doing this I can inspire someone out there who is going through what I have had to go through. Even though I was never alone on this journey, I had my family and friends, it still felt as if I was all alone and I was so terribly lonely and sad. I felt I could not share those feelings because I either didn’t want to bring others around me down or want them to get tired of me complaining. So I shut up, sucked it up, put on a smile 99% of the time, and jotted down some of my feelings.
I really hope you find this helpful to know you are not alone and the feeling of loneliness in the midst of being surrounded by people or being angry at God or even your family or even at yourself is OK! You too can get through this.
No 2 people are alike in their injuries or illness and I am not a medical professional by any means. So I am not saying my steps to recovery are the exact steps you should take. What I am saying is I am here to show you how I got out of a wheelchair, walker, cane, and scooter, got out of a full blow state of depression, got away from being angry at God, and stepped away from the thought that I just wanted God to take me home NOW! This is my journey to getting as much of myself back as I possibly can.
Yes, I will be backtracking and posting my journal writings and pictures from as close to the beginning as I possibly can. I wish you all the best in your journey and I want to hear from you if something inspires you! Just remember to be careful with any physical exercise you do, get your doctor’s permission, and try to stay positive. There is ALWAYS a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I know because I found mine!
CBD oil is a Controversial subject around our nation. Our friends, family, Government officials and even our doctors do not understand what it is and whether or not there are real benefits from this medicinal drug. In this podcast I will be discussing what CBD is and is not as well as my experience and my opinion with using it.
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