Tag Archives: recovery

Should You Be Logging your Pain?

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Pain Journal: Bandaid Cover https://amzn.to/36dyDhC
Pain Journal: Brown Cover https://amzn.to/3CBobNb
Pain Journal: Heart Cover https://amzn.to/3t3wNJl
Pain Journal: Torn Face Cover https://amzn.to/3CAjTFM

Do you even go to the doctor and forget what you wanted to talk about?

Do you even have unexpected pain but a month or two later forgot about it at your next Dr appointment?

Yup, me too! Well, that is, until I figured out about keeping a pain journal. So grab a pencil and paper so you can take notes

Those of us who live with chronic pain and who are willing to keep a pain log, journal, or diary can truly provide invaluable assistance to our Pain Management doctors and our GP doctors. These journals can help your doctor to diagnose the actual source of the pain. This will then help your doctor to put together therapy, medication, or remedy to help you manage your pain. It really does not matter if you have been dealing with chronic pain for many years or you are brand new to pain. The pain log is where you will write down everything about your pain.

Let’s look at some of the benefits of keeping a pain log are…

  • It can help you to remember what, when, and where the pain has been since your last doctor’s appointment
  • It can uncover any changes in your current condition
  • It can help you to recognized certain triggers or flare ups that make the pain worst
    • Such as food
    • Weather
    • Physical activity
  • It can point out some emotional problems that may have occurred or are becoming a problem because of the pain
  • It will shed a ton of light on side effects from medication and then help the doctor make any adjustment that may need to be  made
  • A huge benefit is it can illuminate any patterns in your pain. This is important because we can see time of day, food allergies, stressors etc that can be causing you pain or making it get out of control
  • And for those of us who are not great communicators, it gives us a way to communicate to our doctor and better answer their questions that they may ask.
  • And, overall, it helps us to have a sense of control over our own health and well being

So the question you should be asking now is what should I write down? Let me run down a list of 7 extremely simple MAIN things you should be journaling about. Here is where you will want to grab a pencil and paper to take notes.

  1. Each days entry should have the date and times.
  2. You should have a pain scale rating such as 1 thru 10 where 1 is no pain and 10 is “I feel like I am dying”
  3. There should be a sleep rating scale as well. We all know sleep can greatly affect our pain level. So keep track of your sleep by having a 1-10 hours for this area
  4. You should be recording your activity level for the day and a scale. Continue with the 1-10 where 1 is I did not even lift a finger and 10 benign I ran a marathon
  5. You want to make sure you are making a notation of what area on your body in which you felt the pain
  6. Make sure you are also jotting down the time of day there is acute pain with an area to describe the level of acute pain and maybe even a trigger, if you know it. Such as “It was walking and stepped on a rock”. Or “I had coffee and I know it is a trigger for my migraines” or “It was cold and wet out today”..
  7. You want to have an area where you are describing the following..
    1. How long the pain lasted
    2. Did the pain interrupt the day
    3. Describing the type of pain. You want to use descriptive words like acute, throbbing, pulsing, tingling, burning etc. And whether or not the pain moved around.
    4. Also you want to note if you did anything or took anything which made the pain better
    5. Of course you will want to write down your observation as to whether or not there were other symptoms that went along with it
    6. And, of course describe your mood before and after the pain started

Remember the more precise you are the better. And I know you’re thinking to yourself, “Well, I am in pain in the same spot every day!” It’s OK. Log it. Because I bet you when you start paying attention to it more you might find there are several days you did not realize you had inflammation and it was slowing you down. Or the day you went to the mall you had more pain than normal but took a pain pill and felt better. So make sure to write it down even if you think it is the same every day!!

And don’t feel like you have to make a journal entry every single hour. Think about writing your pain level down maybe 2-4 times a day or so. Write upon waking up, at lunch, maybe hump hour-3 pm, and before bed. If that still seems a bit overwhelming, then consider writing just at the end of the day. The more you can log the better this will give you and your doctor a great insight into your pain throughout the day.

Remember the journal you use should work for you and your personality. You could log your information in a spiral notebook, a fancy leather journal, or a pain diary like the one I made here. I will put a link to it in the description box if you would like to pick one up for yourself or a loved one who is dealing with chronic pain. Also, consider sharing this video with them as well so they can understand the benefits of logging their pain.

 I made this journal originally for myself and I take it along with me to my monthly pain management appointments. It has been a great asset to my visits for helping me to remember things that were going on but may have stopped by the time I went to my appointment. You know how that is. I always look over my journal entries before my appointment and flag the days that were out of the ordinary. This also has made me much more aware of my body, the foods that cause more pain and inflammation, and just an overall awareness of how my chronic pain ebbs and flows.

I did mention it was important to also start a food log. The reason for this is when you have an onset of pain or inflammation for a few days you can easily look back and see what you ate for that day which might have made it worst. Maybe you had soda every day which is out of the ordinary for you. You ate cheese every day, or too much alcohol, or whatever.

Harvard Health Medical and Dr. Fred Tabung who is a researcher with the Department of Nutrition at Harvard’s School of Public Health says the food you eat can determine how well your body fights inflammation. It’s been said that you are what you eat, and that’s definitely true when it comes to chronic pain. “A lot of chronic pain is the result of chronic inflammation, and the evidence is quite strong that your diet can contribute to increased systemic inflammation, But your diet is also one of the best ways to reduce it.”

When we first start dealing with our injuries, before the chronic pain sets in, our body protected itself with inflammation and that inflammation eventually goes away. However, when you are dealing with someone who has chronic issues, this inflammation can stay with us which can, over time, damage our healthy cells and organs and cause heart disease (which is what my mom passed away from) it can also cause diabetes and even some cancers. This is why keeping track of what food we are eating and our inflammation and our pain level can drastically help us in the long run. We can finally find out that the yummy thing we have been eating for years and years is now an inflammatory junk food for our body. Even if it is a healthy food.

Overall, logging your pain is one of the simplest acts you can take into helping yourself and even possibly healing your chronic pain. Of course, that’s depending on why you are experiencing this pain. Truly, It doesn’t have to cost any money or very little money and can take just a few minutes each day. 

If you are like me, I am always trying to figure out how to feel better. How to make my chronic painless. 

And how to communicate to my doctor to get the best results. 

My pain and food diary has helped me so much over the years. It has helped me to know which foods cause inflammation as well as which activities to stay away from. I highly recommend, if you are dealing with chronic pain, to start logging your pain today.

Save this video so you can go back and write down what to log or consider sharing it with a family member who is dealing with pain. 

And again I will share a link to my pain journal in the description so you don’t have to worry about what to log and can start logging right away and bring it to your next doctor’s appointment!

Until next time Stay Healthy, Stay Happy, and Stay Wise

Strategies to Get Outside and Exercise for Those with Chronic Pain or Mobility Issues

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Strategies to Get Your Broken Body Outside and Moving Again

Are you disabled or have mobility issues? Do you wish you could get outside to exercise or hike again?

More than 1 in 4 adults in the US have a disability according to the CDC and Harvard. And due to some of these disabilities, it can cause you to stop exercising which can lead you to be 3x more likely to have heart disease, stroke, diabetes, etc.

Being outdoors can not only improve your physical health but also boost your emotional and spiritual well-being. It has been known to cure the blues, bring a smile on your face, relieve stress, snuff out of a bad day, relieve depression, and just a general feeling of well-being. 

But sometimes for those of us who are disabled, have mobility issues, or have chronic pain, it can feel like it’s Out Of Reach. I can totally relate to these feelings. I am a Big Boned and Broken person with chronic pain and mobility issues too and have dealt with having to give up my love for hiking. However, being outdoors, walking and hiking can be for just about everyone. It will just look different depending on your body and your disabilities.

I have+ 15 easy strategies for those with all levels of disabilities, chronic pain, or mobility issues to help you get either Outdoors or out on those trails. Try 1 or try them all. So let’s get started.

  1. Look for paved sidewalks or trails. Now I will say for those of us who have chronic back pain this can actually be a more painful experience having the hard concrete underneath our feet. But for those who are on crutches or a wheelchair, this is a perfect option.
  1. If you are in a wheelchair look for either wheelchair or stroller access Trails. There are many sites that will give you detailed information about different trails in your area
  1. Take it slow. Build up your endurance and strength by taking it as slow as you need. Don’t be a speed demon. Speed is not the goal, time outside and endurance should be the goal here.
  1. For those of us who are walking, use hiking poles, even on pavement. This can take a lot of the weight off your back, hips, and legs and distribute it more evenly throughout your entire body.
  1. Hike with a partner. This is really important when you’re first starting out. Think about it this way. If the pain gets too much to handle, you fall, or you just can’t go any further, your partner can go and grab the car while you sit and wait.
  1. Start small. Start with ¼ of a mile or ½ a mile and build yourself up. This is a great way to start getting your arms and legs straightened and increase your endurance.
  1. Don’t be a weekend warrior. Hike or walk a few times each week. It is much better to have three short ½-mile hikes than one big huge 3-mile hike. This will keep you from being laid up for a day or two because of excess pain.
  1. Be careful of hike ratings on some of the apps. What a fully capable twenty-year-old deems as easy can be much more difficult for those of us who are Big Boned and Broken and have mobility issues, disabilities, and of course chronic pain. Read the reviews to get a better picture of what the trail really looks like.
  1. Look at Google Maps either at the terrain or the satellite to get a better idea of what the trail inclines and terrain will be like
  1. Consider getting an app like alltrails where it will give you ratings, pictures, explanations of what the trails are like Etc. 
  1. This next one goes along with #10. Be willing to write your own reviews on hiking apps to help other people to know how the terrain and trail are for disabled or handicapped individuals.
  1. Get the right shoes for hiking. If you’re going to hike, whether it is on the trails, concrete, or in the hills, tennis shoes might not be the right fit for all those adventures. Your feet, back, legs, etc will be very unhappy. It is not only important to think of your injury, but your feet and the right shoes will make or break your new adventures outside.
  1. Find a hiking group in your area that have similar interests and circumstances. This can not only make the hiking fun if you’re new to it but even if you’ve been doing it for a while. Shoot, you might make a new bestie!
  1.  If you’re not ready to get on the trails consider taking a nature challenge. This is where you go out each day for a week or even a month and you find different natural elements and draw them or take pictures of them and post them to the group. This can be done just walking down a neighbor or two, in your backyard, or even at a park while your watching your child play on the swings.
  1. Lastly, I know there are some of you who are saying this is absolutely not possible for me yet. I am still in recovery, or this disability thing is still new to me. I get it. I was there for 3 years after my accident. So if hiking or walking is just not a possibility then at least sit outside once a day in the Sun for 10 or 15 minutes. If you are in an apartment, surround yourself with potted foliage, flowers, and even pictures inside your house of The Great Outdoors. Do you remember why? You got it. To boost your emotional and spiritual well-being

Hiking and walking were once taken away from me after my accident. But I started with walking just down and back 2 houses, then around my block, which is only 1/2 mile, and I did this several times a week. Then to my neighborhood’s, very flat, 1-mile dirt Trail. This is when I realized my body was getting stronger and I could do more. 

So I gathered up the courage and went to my nearest Regional Park after researching all the trails and realized that one of the regional parks had a dirt trail that was flatish. So I walked this for a while. Then I moved up to going on steeper inclines and then moved to longer hikes and then moved to the hills. And now I hike some pretty good hills and go anywhere from 2 to 5 miles each hike. But it took time, research, trial and error, walking to a certain point and realizing I had to turn around because it was too much. And sometimes, unfortunately, it also caused more pain. Why? Because there were multiple times that I did more than I should have. I didn’t start off with the right gear. I did this by myself instead of with a partner. So when I got tired or felt I could not go on, I had no choice. This is why I decided to share these strategies with you. If I would have found something like this video when I was starting out, it might have saved me from aggravation at the beginning. So if you know anyone who needs to hear this information hit the share button now and send this video to them.

I believe hiking is for just about everyone no matter your fitness level, type of disability, or even your pain level. Whether you’re on crutches, in a wheelchair, or walking. You can get out there and walk and take a hike. It may take time to build up to it but you can do it and it may be 1 or 2 houses and back, around your block, with a helper or guide, or out on the trails in a park. It doesn’t matter. Just try something new today and be willing to do your research, get your right gear, and take it slow, and above all, talk to your doctor and make sure it is safe for you to do this. So today get out there and see some more green even if it’s just surrounding yourself with flowers and potted plants on your balcony. Start today with a little more outdoor and green time and see if it doesn’t start to uplift your mood.

Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise!

LINKS:

Hiking Journal:

Boots cover – https://amzn.to/34zvW9E

Hearts cover – https://amzn.to/3oEJAiS

Leather cover – https://amzn.to/3HI1MiT

Pain Journals:

Hearts cover  – https://amzn.to/34vBlhZ

Face cover – https://amzn.to/3HFAmdH

Bandaid cover – https://amzn.to/34sEFdK

OC Hiking Club: 

Orange County Hiking: https://www.meetup.com/OC-HIKING-com/

USA Hiking Clubs: https://blog.activeadventures.com/hiking-clubs-usa

Disabled Hikers: https://disabledhikers.com/

Nature challenge :

Challenge & Contest:  https://citynaturechallenge.org/

Young Family 5 day: https://www.takethemoutside.com/5-day-family-nature-challenge/

Year-long: https://disabledhikers.com/52-nature-awareness-challenge/

2 Rants for Those Who are Disabled

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So I have two subjects surrounding being disabled that really bug the heck out of me. Today I want to cover them. I will say this is a more serious subject matter and is a bit more about my particular engagement with it and how I have handled it.

Let me start by saying I was not born with a visible disability. I was born with a deformity of my left hip called hip dysplasia, which even though I did have some problems in my youth, did not fully present itself until about 2012. In 2015

 I got a hip replacement and directly after this, I fell down some stairs and broke my ankle, torn ligaments in my ankle, pinched a nerve behind my knee, slipped 3 discs in my back which is currently pressing on my spinal nerve. 

I am not telling you this to get sympathy. Because of my subject matter, I want you to know I understand this topic first hand and I want you to know where I am coming from.

During my recovery, I cannot tell you how many people, sent me cards, emails, IM’s etc I got them from friends, family, and even strangers wishing me well. A  good handful of these beautiful and heartwarming notes that brightened my day also thought I was sick and recovering from an illness. From my explanation above, you can see I was not sick. Even my son would tell people I was sick. However, I will give him a break. He was a young teen at the time. 

Have any of you ever been through this?

I did some research about this subject matter and believe I may have found the reason why people with disabilities or recovery from an injury are linked to being ill.

I think this comes from the association between people who have had accidents and end up in a wheelchair or walker or whatever, usually spend time in the hospital at some point or time. And we associate hospital stays with what? Being sick. 

However, a wheelchair, crutches, walker, scooter or even monthly Dr visits to pain management do not equal illness. I know, because I have been in all of that plus! 

This stereotype really is not fair to those of us who have or are going through this tough time, but we also have to look at it from the other side. It is the way we have all been conditioned. Yes, even you.

So how I did handle it? Most of the time I would just let it go. However, on social media, I felt the need to set people straight. And I think this comes from me being Big Boned. I did not want people to think I was sick because of my size. I know silly, but there I am all exposing my inner thoughts to you all.  I would very gently correct them. I would post something like that. 

‘Thank you all so much for your wonderful comments. Thank God I have been very healthy through this ordeal which is making my injury recovery go very well. Your comments are giving me smiles through this extremely rough time. Thank you!”

This allowed me to straighten out the fact that  I was not sick while making sure people,e who out of the kindness of their heart spoke incorrectly, did not feel berated or scolded. After all, they were all so kind and they really did brighten my very extreme dark days.

The second subject that bothers me is what people believe is disabled or handicapped and what it truly is. 

So let’s look at the definition of disabled and handicapped.

A disability is the result of a medically definable condition that limits a person’s movements, senses, or activities.

A handicap is a barrier or circumstance that makes progress difficult, such as not being able to climb a flight of stairs.

So I am going to go back to my condition for a moment. From my explanation above I was 100% handicapped.

I was unable to walk properly without some form of aid, I could not descend or climb stairs, nor could I get up from a chair without the help of a person or sturdy table. I went from using a wheelchair to a scooter to crutches to a walker to a cane for a long period of time. I was, by all definitions and by Drs, considered handicapped. 

At the end part of 2017, I decided to do some procedures on my back which allowed me to walk better and handle stairs a bit better. It was a blessing but I still had a barrier or circumstance that made progress difficult.

In 2019 I took up hiking on trails to help with leg strength and to help with my slow decline of stamina. It was slow going at first. This eventually helped with walking better and mostly eliminated the use of a mobility scooter. It also helped me to descend and climb stairs more easily. Now does this mean I am not disabled anymore? Absolutely not.

I have more days than not of extreme pain in my back, leg weakness, and overall body stiffness and struggling. On days I feel fantastic I do not use my handicapped placard. I figure I feel good enough to let someone who needs it have it! But on days I feel like I got hit by a bus, I use it. These are the days I get looks, comments, and even notes on my car. Yes, you heard me right. Notes!

Because I very rarely use mobility aids I get the comments of how could you use someone else’s plaques like that. How could you park in the handicapped? You are not handicapped. I have never done it, but I would like to show them all my surgery scars. 

There is a miss understanding from the nondisabled/handicapped people out there that if you are not in a wheelchair or using some sort of mobility device you are NOT handicapped or disabled. Well, I am here to tell you this is NOT true.

I need to use a handicapped spot because of my back. 

My left leg is not strong enough to handle the push-off by itself that most people can do when they get out of their car. I need 2 legs on most days to get out of my car. Therefore I need to open my door all the way and need the extra room a handicapped spot provides for me. 

On days when my back is really bad, after shopping for groceries for my family,  standing in line,  if I don’t use a scooter, the thought of walking 15 car spots is so agonizing it sometimes will leave me in tears in the parking lot.

Even though I hike a few miles a week, it is very different than going to Disneyland. First off I am not on concrete. And those of you who have back injuries, know exactly what I am talking about. 1 hour of walking on concrete is about equal to 2 or 3  hours of walking on the trails.

These are just 3 examples of why I still am considered disabled and use a handicapped placard.

One experience was actually hilarious. My husband was driving and pulled into a handicapped spot. As he got out of the car a lady actually yelled at him that he was not handicapped and he had no right to park there. Well, she ate crow as he proceeded to get the wheelchair out of the back of the car, help me into it and roll me past her. Do you think she apologized? Nope!

When people make these types of comments or I see people parking in the lines of handicapped spots or even when they park in a handicapped spot and they do not have a placard, it upsets me. 

We just saw this the other day, A person parked in the lines of a handicapped spot with no placard just to unload some large boxes. They were there for 20 minutes.

Now could the person be handicapped, sure? But there is a reason for the lines. It gives disabled people more room to either open their doors or get their wheelchair out. And let’s not forget the Drs and DMV hand out the red and blue placards or license plates for a reason… it’s the law. 

This whole experience saddens me. The disregard for those of us who need these spots is downright disrespectful. I know here where I live we can report the violator car to the store or to the police department, but I never have. I have not come up with a decent response to these comments I have gotten of ignorance or disrespect. If you have delt with this and have come up with a way to handle it let me know in the comments. 

Meanwhile, I will continue to just walk past the belligerent person, stares etc and ignore them knowing that they are misinformed!

I know this video was more of a rant than it was helpful information like most of my videos, but I know I am not the only one who goes through this and wanted those of you out there to know I understand and you are not alone. Plus for those who might happen across this video and are not handicapped, I am hoping you will learn something and pass along the information!

I’m Kristin nitz with Big Boned and Broken

Consider Checking out my Instagram & Facebook channels @BigBonedAndBroken and of course my YouTube

Until next time Stay healthy, stay happy and stay wise.

Self Sabotage; Negative Self Talk

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When you think about or talk about chronic pain, you may only think about the physical side of it. However, chronic pain can have a huge impact on a person’s life physically and mentally. It can change our sleep patterns and cause restlessness at night and even during the day. Given the lack of sleep and the constant thumping of pain somewhere in your body, this can lead to a disinterest in hobbies and social events. A feeling of anxiety. It can cause you to starve yourself, binge eats, feel isolated even when people are around you. It can lead to feelings of frustration and destructive self-talk. And worst yet, it can lead to or exacerbate depression.

One of the main things we have to beware of is the internal talk. Having destructive self-talk can make the situation worse and keep you from coping with your pain in a more constructive manner. When we are constantly flooding our brain with how much pain we are in and telling ourselves, “no one cares”, “I am a burden”,” I am useless”, “I can’t take this”, “It is all my fault”, or whatever your internal talk is, it can exacerbate the sadness, depression and even the pain. This was my self-talk for the first few years after my accident and the more I talked to myself like this the more depressed I got. And worse yet? These thought patterns turned into belief patterns which, I gotta tell you are hard to get rid of, but you can! And let me just note here that I still struggle with this every now and then. So this is an ongoing learning process for us all.

 So then what? Our next step then is to hide our feelings. So my thought pattern was, for many years, “I don’t want to burden the people around me or bring them down. So I will say everything is just fine, smile, and if the pain gets too much, grin and bear it!” Does anyone identify with this?

We who deal with chronic pain know how it feels when we have to deal with the consequences of overdoing ourselves and dealing with the extra pain afterward. We know how it feels to want to go to a social function yet when we get there all we can think about is going home because we are so uncomfortable. This continual pain can lead to our brains not being able to focus. My daughter calls me out on this all the time. She will tell me something and 5 seconds later I will ask her what she said. It is not because I am not listening, but between the pain and any medications that someone with chronic pain takes it can fog up the brain and thought patterns. And then we make the situation worst by telling ourselves we are bad moms, wives, friends, and co-workers.

We can also have the thoughts that people don’t believe us. Even with having had an accident, being hospitalized, and casts you would think it would be enough for my brain to not think this. But there it was rearing its ugly head. Especially nowadays because I am so much more active than I was at the beginning. More self-sabotaging thoughts!

OK, so what am I to do? I’m down all the time and I can’t seem to talk to myself in a nice way!  Well, I could tell you to just have positive thoughts. But we know that we cannot control our thoughts 100% of the time. Consider watching When Your Feeling Down-10 Easy Ways to Being Happy These 10 simple steps can bring you more cheer in your day when you’re just feeling a bit down. However, there are just extra steps above that video that can help. 

First and foremost, allow yourself to feel these things for a moment. And if you feel ready, go talk to someone. Let me tell you this was the best decision I ever made. My hip replacement happened, then my accident, and then my mom died all within 3 months. Then I found out I had cancer in the following 2 months. Do you think I wasn’t down? I was ready to give it all up. I blamed myself for my accident, my mom having to go into a center while I was in rehab and even for my cancer. I am not sure what would have happened if I did not go to my church and seek counseling. It changed my perspective on everything. So this is why it is the first and foremost thing you should do. Especially if your thoughts are running into hurting yourself or suicide path like mine was.

The best coping mechanism that was taught to me was to ask just a couple of questions when my thoughts were going off the path. 1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel?  3. What would my husband, children, God, or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? And then journal those feelings. For me the 1st question well, sometimes, i would say to myself, yes of course it is true! But then I would ask the 2nd one and realize how harmful and hurtful I was being. But the last 2 questions? WOW, would I ever say these thoughts to any of the people? NO Would I be happy if any of those people said it to me? NO WAY! I would eventually realize it was my own self-sabotaging self-talk and not truth.

Look there is no 1 size fits all, to help with chronic pain or sadness and depression for those of us who suffer from it. But we can start with self-talk! And if you are watching and have a loved one who suffers from chronic pain, then be willing to sit and listen. They may not come out right away and talk about their true feelings. It may take a few months of consistently getting together every day or weekly, asking open-ended questions, and being willing to put aside what is going on in your life for just 20 or 30 minutes. Eventually, they will begin to realize you are trustworthy, loving, really do care, and truly are willing to listen!

You are taking care of yourself physically already with doctors, exercise, eating right, pain management, etc. So why not continue the process of taking care of yourself mentally. Starting today ask yourself those 4 questions…1. Is what I am telling myself really true? 2. How does this thought make me feel?  3. What would my husband, children, God or my dearest friend think about what I am telling myself? 4. How would I feel if any of those people said these things to my face? Grab a journal and start putting your feelings down. And if you’re ready, go seek help from a  professional. Don’t wait until it is out of control.

I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken

If you enjoyed this video, please consider hitting the subscribe and notification button for more content like this.

Until next time, stay healthy, happy & wise!

How to be Grateful in Tough Times

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Just from the title, you may think to yourself “What do I have to be grateful for?” I don’t even know you or your situation but I can think of 10 things you can be grateful for right this moment and I bet you can too. Today we are going to talk about starting a gratitude journal. What is it? Why keep it? Where to get them? And how to do it?.

So what is a gratitude journal? It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a journal that you write in on a regular basis where you jot down the things you are grateful for each day. It is that simple. Keeping a gratitude journal can increase your overall feeling of happiness, reduce symptoms of depression, and increase a more euphoric overall well-being. Hey that is pretty cool for just a sentence or two a day, don’t you think?

As far as what journal to get? Well, that is not as important as doing it. There are some specific gratitude journals that give you a prompt. There are those that are just lined pages, some are dated, but overall it is more important to just start! You can go just about anywhere to get a lined journal these days, but  I’ll link some in the description if you just have no idea where to start. Some of these were ones I liked over the years! 

So this brings us to the how and the meat of this video. How, is pretty easy. Just write down something that day for which you are thankful. Oh, but I know that is easier said than done. So I have a few ideas for you to follow.

  1. Don’t write the same thing every day. “I am thankful for our home”! That is a great one to write especially if you were not sure if you could pay the mortgage that month, but every day? No! Which leads me to
  2. Be creative. What about the nice meal you had with your family that day. How about having a fun holiday? You could even add ticket stubs, receipts, and pics to your journal if you want. I don’t because I write in my bed before turning the lights out and I am too lazy to get the glue and tape…LOL
  3. This leads us to the time of day. I have always thought bedtime was a great time because the last thing I think of before I go to bed is something positive.
  4. Be clear about what you are writing. Let’s use the house example again. If I say I am happy with my house. That’s not really clear. Write down you didn’t know how you were going to pay the mortgage and all of a sudden you got a huge refund in the mail. That is truly clear!
  5. However, we also want to focus on the people around us, not just the things we have in our lives. Make sure you are adding in the really nice cashier that made your day and why, your husband’s back rub he gave you unexpectedly, etc.
  6. Keep all negativity out of this book. This is a gratitude journal. Not a gratitude journal, But…. Get the picture?
  7. We all have terrible days when we can’t think of something fun to write. That’s ok. This is where you can be thankful for your mom, child, or spouse just because.
  8. Get personal. Be grateful for the negative outcomes that never happened because you were able to escape them. An example could be “I am so grateful I was able to swerve away from the car and no accident happened today!
  9. Be Consistent. It does not have to be daily, It can be weekly, daily or just the weekends, but whenever you decide on it, be consistent with it so it becomes a habit.
  10. Give it time to become a habit. A new habit can take as little as 30 days and as much as 100 days to form. So don’t give up!

Just a few prompt ideas would be:

What is one thing I am thankful for about myself

What is something I am doing well in

Did I do something nice for someone today 

Did someone do something nice for me?

Write 1 thing that is positive about a stressor today

Think about a person you admire and write about it

Name something that always puts a smile on your face

Name a way you can be kinder tomorrow

Name off an accomplishment

‘ Write about a place you visited

Write about something physically beautiful like your rose bushes, the 50ft tree in your backyard etc.

.Write about what made you laugh

Even write about a meal

Write a thankful thing from your childhood

Each day take 1 family member and write what you’re grateful for about them

Who are the top 3 people you are thankful or today

For the end of the month, quarter, &/?or year write your top highlights for the month

Write 3 things you love about your body, home, your job, your family

I think you are getting the picture. I hope those prompts help you. I will write them out in the description as well so you can print them.

You can see there are a lot of things you can write about in your journal. It can be short and sweet or big long paragraphs. It is up to you. Just give it a try for a month and see if you don’t start feeling a bit more thankful and grateful and having a bit happier sleep and dreams.

I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken. To get you started this journal is a nice one Here is a journal with prompts: https://amzn.to/3nGxyVA

Until next time Stay healthy, Stay Happy and Stay Wise.

Women and Chronic Pain

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As a woman, we have a lot of pressure put on us to look a certain way.

We are told we have to be supermodel thin, big breasts, full lips, big hips then small hips, and then back again, act and walk sexy everywhere we go, show off our bodies, be a sex kitten, and oh so much more.

But what if we cannot live up to this huge expectation that is put on us? What if we are slightly or a lot Big Boned? What if we are physically handicapped? 

What if we are BBAB and we are absolutely none of the above according to what social media and the world says we should be? Does it make us any less of a woman? Any less beautiful? Any less worthwhile?

Myself being a Big-boned and Broken woman, there have been many times in my life I have felt unworthy, useless, unattractive, and an outcast in our society. 

Especially since social media and the internet can onto the scene. And yes, I grew up in the dark ages. Without cell phones, social media, and OMGsh, computers! But guess what? Even then the stigma for women to be drop-dead gorgeous and stick-thin was placed upon our shoulders. And as a big-boned teenager in the late 80’s it played a huge number in the way I felt about myself.

Today women don’t just have TV and touched-up print ads to live up to, we have filters on social media that can trim our hips or add to them. Whatever the trend is today. It can thin out our waist, give us abs, and worst yet make our face and skin look as if we are poreless and a 55-year-old woman look 25 again. Wow, how difficult is that to live up to. It is no wonder our teens are depressed, cutting, starving themselves, and worst, committing suicide.

Then you add in being a BBAB woman who suffers from chronic pain and if it’s even more depressing. We can suffer from feelings of unacceptance, feeling left out, ugly, and like we don’t belong. This leads to depression, anger at ourselves, at God, and everyone around us! Some of us will stuff these feelings down way into our gut which leads to stress, weight gain, high blood pressure, lacking a sex drive, and striking out at the people we love most.

It has taken me several years to figure out how to live in the BBAB body and feel comfortable and happy right where I am today. Oh let me make it very clear, I still struggle with many of not all of these things I mentioned but today’s Kristin feels so different, mentally than the Kristin of several years ago and I want to share with you a few things that have helped me.

I know you may not like the first thing I am going to tell you, but here it goes. Exercise. Now I realize there are a few of you who may not be able to join an exercise class or do strenuous exercise, but the majority of you who are watching this can do something.

*When I first started out I started with yoga. I sat in a chair and moved my arms and stretched my shoulders, waist, and legs. This led to feeling better and better and I finally was able to take a slow yoga class. Now I have my own yoga plan that I do almost daily at home. And yes, I still start out in the chair. Hey, why stop something that works well?

*Walking was another thing that helped. Now I was instructed to walk after my hip replacement. So I started with ½ mile several days a week and overtime it led me back out to the regional parks to hike the trails. Now I hike 3-5 miles several days a week.

*Exercise bands were another item my physical therapist had suggested and I still use them a few times a week to this day. They are not going to bulk you up, but it will give you some added strength or at least keep the strength you already have!

Eventually a few years into my journey, I decided I was still dealing with a lot of hurt, anger, and depression so I sought the wise counsel of my pastor and then a counselor. This was a smart move because it helped me to deal with some of the “It’s all my fault” and “I deserve this” attitudes I was having. My counselor opened my eyes to the realization that what was happening to me was not because I was a bad person or I deserved it, it just happened. She helped me to open my eyes to ways to deal with the depression and suicidal thoughts I was having.

Another thing I started doing was keeping a journal. Now I fully admit that today, many years later since the beginning of my BBAB journey, I don’t write in it every day. But in the beginning, I did. And let me tell you how much it helped. The first journal was just blank-lined pages and I brain-dumped everything onto those pages. As a matter of fact, I am currently transferring those journal pages onto my blog. This brain dump helped because I did not have to worry about language or hurting someone’s feelings or what people thought about me. I could just dump it all out onto a piece of paper. 

*Eventually I went to a gratitude journal. This helped me to see the good things that were still in my life and were right in front of my nose. But when you are in constant pain it is hard to see those good things.

I also decided to try some holistic approaches to pain management. I tried acupuncture, meditation, CBD oil, breath therapy, sound therapy, herbal medicine, heat and ice therapy, essential oil, and several others. Many of these things I still use or do today and others did not work so well for me. I would like to persuade you to look into some of the holistic ways to deal with your chronic pain. You might find they work very well for you.

And of course, there is always traditional western medicine. Physical therapy and medications. And yes, I did and still do these too. Physical therapy helped me to know what muscles to work, why, and what, and how strengthening the muscles around the injured area can help to lessen pain. And of course, my pain management doctor has helped me with Radiofrequency oblation in my back and neck, pain medications, and steroid shots in my neck, back and knee. Depending on your injury and level of chronic pain, this may have to be the route that’s right for you.

No matter what you decide to do to help yourself and your chronic pain, remember your attitude can make or break how you feel and it can even change the whole feeling in a room of people. I am not saying we should not cry, feel down or talk to friends and family about it. I am talking about the “Poor Me” attitude.  It is important to not keep this” attitude running through our brain 24/7. I was there, so I understand. Along with all the things the world says women should be that I listed at the beginning of this video and then our own internal talk, this can be way overwhelming and no matter what you do to help yourself on the outside it just won’t work until the brain gets some healing. Our internal thoughts about ourselves have to be positive. Every day you need to look in a mirror and tell yourself…” I am enough”, ”I am beautiful”, “I am useful”, “I am needed” or whatever your negative internal talk is. And please let me not try to fool you into thinking I have this all figured out myself. Because I don’t. There are days I am my worst enemy. But every day I journal, I have at least 1 thing I am grateful for, I exercise, I read my Bible, I meditate, as well as several other things to keep me happy and keep my pain levels somewhat bearable.

Look, I know it is hard to be a BBAB woman with chronic pain in a fake social media beauty-obsessed world. But, 1 step at a time, 1 happy thought at a time, 1 attitude of gratitude at a time, and each day can get better and better. If you need to, toss out social media altogether for a month and see if that helps a bit. Do you want to feel better? Do you still want to look better? It is said that happiness is marked by a feeling of great excitement and euphoria. Happiness and smiling can help with pain and make a person look stunningly beautiful. It can make people want to be around you, trust you, and model after you!  So do yourself a favor and work on the head pain along with the body pain and see if in a month or two you don’t start feeling just a bit better.

I’m Kristin Nitz with Big Boned and Broken

If you like this video please hit the subscribe and notification buttons to see more videos like these.

Until next time, stay healthy, stay happy, and stay wise!

My Journey from the Beginning

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If the player doen’t seem to load you can listen here

 

My journey is a long and hard one. There are many of us who have been to the depths of despair and back. This is my journey and how I overcame the hardships of the life that was handed to me. Welcome to my very first podcast. Please join me for future podcasts as I learn more about podcasting as well as learning about the world around you and me. My journey is now our journey together to being truly happy with where we are in life. Catch you n the flip side.

Time to Go Home From Rehab

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My June 1st, 2015, Journal:


Today I get released from rehab. Part of me is really excited but the other part of me is really scared. I’ve appreciated for the first time ever having someone watch over me and make sure I am safe and not getting injured. Not to mention I’ve enjoyed not having to worry about cleaning up the house or cooking dinner or taking care of the kids and my husband right now. I just honestly want to just worry about me. I typically like to put my family first, but it might be time to put me first. But I’m sure all will be fine once I get home and my family will be very helpful.

Tomorrow I have a post-op appointment and then Wednesday my mom gets released from rehab. I’m even more nervous about that. She didn’t sound too good over the phone the last couple of times I talked to her. I miss her so much I can’t wait to see her and tell her how things have been going and just be there for her. We can both take little tiny walks one or two houses together while we both recover. I look forward to recovering with my mom.


My June 3, 2015, Journal:


My mom came home today and she didn’t even recognize me. I knew something was wrong the last couple of times I talked to her she just didn’t sound like herself. OMGsh, what am I going to do? She finally realized it was me but she thought I was the nurse when she first came home. She thought she was still in the hospital. Oh please God, don’t take her away from me not now! I need my mommy!

I feel so down and so depressed and so responsible for this. If only I had not done the hip replacement and waited and just done my job and taken care of her and maybe she’d be better off. How selfish of a daughter can I be?!?!?! I will, for the rest of her life, apologize over and over to her!

A couple of times that we talked she had mentioned that she had to wait for so long to get help to go the bathroom. If she were home with me that would have never happened! This is my fault I know it is! I should have never put her in rehab. I could have waited to get my hip operation till she came home and was better. I am ashamed of myself!

_________________________________________________________________________

As I write this, I am remembering how ashamed I felt. I felt as if, without saying, everyone was blaming me for my mom’s condition. Everyone was thinking how selfish I was for not waiting till she got out of the hospital. But I will say, she told me at least 100 times to go ahead with the operation. So did my husband, my mother-in-law, and friends. It truly was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. To truly put me first. To think about myself above anyone else first. Sure I am selfish at times, but my family always comes first when it comes to the medium and big things, so making the decision to go ahead with my total left hip replacement while my mom was in rehab, was not as straightforward as you might think!

Before you ask, the reason my mom was in the hospital was that she hated doctors. She had congestive heart failure for years and high blood pressure as well as she was diagnosed with lupus and rheumatoid arthritis years before. She hated taking meds, but she did take her BP and CHF pills daily. Anyway, her legs had been weeping (expressing liquid) (cringe) for about a month. They started right after her last doctor’s appointment which she did keep to monthly (because of my demanding personally). I kept telling her this was not normal and we absolutely had to go to the doctor. It is my fault. I let it go for three weeks with her refusing until I finally threatened her to call an ambulance if she did not make an appt NOW! I should have threatened earlier. By then it was too late. When we went into the doctor’s office the doctor was emphatic that I take her to the ER NOW. My mom refused in the car, but now I was in control. They immediately admitted her and that was the start of the end for her, especially after she was released to the rehab center!

If you want to read more about my journey, keep following. I will be posting more of my journals. All parts of my journal that are in italic are my current thoughts or additions, otherwise, everything else comes directly from the journal I was keeping at the time. I hope if you know me personally this gives you insight into what was really going on every time you asked and I said  “I’m Fine”. I also hope that for those of you who are going through something similar, this journal gives you hope that things do get better!

The Day of My Hip Surgery

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My May 18, 2015, Journal:


May 18th, 2015 will always be a day to remember for me. Today I went in at 5:30 am for my hip surgery. I had been going about 5 years in horrific pain. I was truly really unable to continue walking at this point. I was in such pain. I was at a point where I could hardly function as a parent with my kids because I couldn’t get down on the floor nor could I get up at this point, I could barely get out of a seated chair. So it was time to find out what was going on and it was time to get it fixed.

Over the course of about 1 1/2 years, I had gone to several doctors in hopes they would perform surgery on my hip. At this time I found out that it wasn’t just a small amount of arthritis but it was actually a congenital defect. I was born with a hip socket that wasn’t fully formed. This explained so many things during my childhood that I never understood why I couldn’t do some of the things that my friends could do. All because of my hip. It made so much sense now.

After seeing two doctors and both of them saying “NO” to performing the surgery, I had given up hope. Both of them had explained to me I was too heavy to take a chance on operating. Even though at this point I had been walking 5 to 6 miles every weekday and I had just stopped less than a year or so prior to my operation because it was just too painful. But that didn’t seem to persuade them.

My husband insisted that I try one more doctor but I dont have any hope.  But what ended up happening was a glorious occasion. I told the Dr. Batchelor what was wrong, he took some x-rays, looked at the MRIs that I had brought in, left the room. When he came back into the room, he sat down, looked at me, and said “We need to operate. We need to do a full left lateral hip replacement. We have an opening in about 2 weeks”. I burst out in tears.
{For those of you who know me, you know that I don’t like to cry in front of people if I can help it but I couldn’t help it this time.} He thought I was upset with the news of needing the surgery, but I had to tell him that I was not upset and that the tears were actually tears of joy! I even proceeded to tell him about the other doctors and how they have treated me. His response? “No one, no matter their size or age, should live their lives in this kind of pain ever!” What a response I almost jumped out of my seat to hug him.

However, I didn’t have the operation two weeks later because I had to take care of my mom first. You see she was having some serious health issues and at this point, we knew that she needed more help than what I could give her after having a hip operation. And on May 7th, my mom ended up in the hospital. Now I knew for sure that I had made the right choice to push my operation out a little bit. When she was released from the hospital we (meaning my mom, my husband, and me) agreed to put her in a Rehabilitation center so that she would have 24-hour care while I was in rehab myself.

_________________________________________________________________________This was what I had thought was the most stressful time of my life. Here my mom was in a rehabilitation center after being in a hospital for almost a week and I’m going in for a full left hip replacement. Extreme stress!

Once I got to the hospital I was scared out of my mind. I was shaking like a leaf, my BP was elevated from the nerves and I was on the verge of tears. I had watched several hip surgeries on the internet so I knew what was to come. I knew what it was going to look and sound like in the OR. But once I woke up, even though I was in a lot of pain and they made me try to walk, I was so happy. It was over. Soon I was going to be pain-free!!! I was so ecstatic. Plus I was going to get to spend the next couple of weeks in a rehab center. And before you even think it, yes I had to go to a rehab center. The reason being is my bedroom was on the second story and my doctor didn’t want to take any chances of me falling down the stairs during that healing/relearning to walk time. Also, with my mom in need of constant care and me in need of it as well, it was going to be a huge burden on my family! So they put me in a rehab center for 2 weeks.

But my horrors and what this journal is all about documenting have just only begun. The following posts are going to be somewhat sporadic. And they will be from a journal that I was keeping. I didn’t write in it every day and sometimes I didn’t even write in it every week, but I did jot down my feelings. With this journal in hand, I will be able to relive my journey and my recovery with you in hopes to enlighten those who know people going through something similar or to encourage you who are hitting rock bottom in your recovery from an injury or illness. Remember there is always a light at the end of a tunnel and if you stick with me, you will see my light getting brighter and brighter! Welcome to my journey to healing and recovery!

If you want to read more about my journey, keep following. I will be posting more of my journals. All parts of my journal that are in italic are my current thoughts or additions, otherwise, everything else comes directly from the journal I was keeping at the time. I hope if you know me personally this gives you insight into what was really going on every time you asked and I said  “I’m Fine”. I also hope that for those of you who are going through something similar, this journal gives you hope that things do get better!